Epictetus - Discourses, The Art of Living, Enchiridion

TEORI Epictetus Discourses, The Art of Living, Enchiridion
What's within my control
“Don’t trust in your reputation,
money, or position, but in the
strength that is yours— namely,
your judgments about the things
that you control and don’t
control. For this alone is what
makes us free and unfettered,
that picks us up by the neck from
the depths and lifts us eye to eye
with the rich and powerful.”
“The chief task in life is simply
this: to identify and separate
matters so that I can say clearly
to myself which are externals not
under my control, and which
have to do with the choices I
actually control. Where then do I
look for good and evil? Not to
uncontrollable externals, but
within myself to the choices that
are my own"
“For if a person shifts their
caution to their own reasoned
choices and the acts of those
choices, they will at the same
time gain the will to avoid, but if
they shift their caution away from
their own reasoned choices to
things not under their control,
seeking to avoid what is
controlled by others, they will
then be agitated, fearful, and
unstable.”
Your perceptions
“It isn’t events themselves that
disturb people, but only their
judgments about them.”
"Man's search for meaning" Viktor Frankl
“Keep constant guard over your
perceptions, for it is no small
thing you are protecting, but your
respect, trustworthiness and
steadiness, peace of mind,
freedom from pain and fear, in a
word your freedom. For what
would you sell these things?”
We suffer not from events
in our lives. But from our
judgment about them
Freedom of Choice
“Consider who you are. Above
all, a human being, carrying no
greater power than your own
reasoned choice, which oversees
all other things, and is free from
any other master.”
“A podium and a prison is each a
place, one high and the other
low, but in either place your
freedom of choice can be
maintained if you so wish.”
Man's Search for Meaning
Between stimulus and response is our
ability to CHOOSE
No one can take away your last freedom -
the freedom of thought
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Being Proactive
Choosing your thoughts
Fundamental of stoicism
Focus on what you can control
Your Ruling Principle
“An important place to begin in
philosophy is this: a clear
perception of one’s own ruling
principle.”
Your values
Your own personal creedo
Your own constitution
On Difficulties
“Difficulties show a person’s
character. So when a challenge
confronts you, remember that
God is matching you with a
younger sparring partner, as
would a physical trainer. Why?
Becoming an Olympian takes
sweat! I think no one has a better
challenge than yours, if only you
would use it like an athlete would
that younger sparring partner.”
“If you are defeated once and
tell yourself you will overcome,
but carry on as before, know in
the end you’ll be so ill and
weakened that eventually you
won’t even notice your mistake
and will begin to rationalize your
behavior.”
Einstein "Definition of madness doing the
same thing but expecting different results"
Others' opinions
“If a person gave away your body
to some passerby, you’d be
furious. Yet you hand over your
mind to anyone who comes
along, so they may abuse you,
leaving it disturbed and
troubled— have you no shame in
that?”
Marcus Aurelius
Care more about others but care less
about their opinions
“Keep in mind that it isn’t the one
who has it in for you and takes a
swipe that harms you, but rather
the harm comes from your own
belief about the abuse. So when
someone arouses your anger,
know that it’s really your own
opinion fueling it. Instead, make it
your first response not to be
carried away by such impressions,
for with time and distance
self-mastery is more easily
achieved.”
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Feelings -> Thoughts -> Situations
On Focus
“If you wish to improve, be
content to appear clueless or
stupid in extraneous matters—
don’t wish to seem
knowledgeable"
Deep Work
Cut out all distractions from life
They don't matter
4 Hour Workweek
Information Diet
Having that mental attention space
“When children stick their hand down a
narrow goody jar they can’t get their full fist
out and start crying. Drop a few treats and
you will get it out! Curb your desire— don’t
set your heart on so many things and you
will get what you need.”
"The One Thing" By Gary Keller, Jay P
Self Discipline
Training your self discipline
“Whenever you get an impression of some
pleasure, as with any impression, guard
yourself from being carried away by it, let it
await your action, give yourself a pause.
After that, bring to mind both times, first
when you have enjoyed the pleasure and
later when you will regret it and hate
yourself. Then compare to those the joy and
satisfaction you’d feel for abstaining
altogether. However, if a seemingly
appropriate time arises to act on it, don’t be
overcome by its comfort, pleasantness, and
allure— but against all of this, how much
better the consciousness of conquering it.”
Controlling your impulses
"Emotional Intelligence" Dr Daniel
Goleman
Every moment and action matters
“When you let your attention
slide for a bit, don’t think you will
get back a grip on it whenever
you wish— instead, bear in mind
that because of today’s mistake
everything that follows will be
necessarily worse. . . . Is it
possible to be free from error?
Not by any means, but it is
possible to be a person always
stretching to avoid error. For we
must be content to at least
escape a few mistakes by never
letting our attention slide."
Just this one time?
You never have that liberty
Slight Edge
“Every habit and capability is
confirmed and grows in its
corresponding actions, walking
by walking, and running by
running . . . therefore, if you want
to do something make a habit of
it, if you don’t want to do that,
don’t, but make a habit of
something else instead. The same
principle is at work in our state of
mind. When you get angry,
you’ve not only experienced that
evil, but you’ve also reinforced a
bad habit, adding fuel to the
fire.”
Mini Habits
Even the smallest actions will change or
re-establish your habits
Slight Edge
Identity: First who Then What
“First tell yourself what kind of
person you want to be, then do
what you have to do. For in
nearly every pursuit we see this
to be the case. Those in athletic
pursuit first choose the sport
they want, and then do that
work.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger biography
Tony Robbins: "Identity is the most
powerful force in human nature"
Anxiety
“When I see an anxious person, I ask
myself, what do they want? For if a person
wasn’t wanting something outside of their
own control, why would they be stricken by
anxiety?”
You are only anxious when you want
something that is outside your control
If it is within your control why would you
be anxious?
All of your anxiety is coming from
Wanting something outside your control
Examples
Public Speaking
You care about what others will think about
you
Launching a new product
you care about whether people will like it
or not and if they will buy it
Going up and talking to a stranger
You care if they will like you or if they reject
you
You are removing yourself from what is
within your control
Talking to a stranger
Only care about what you can control
Your actions
Your thoughts
How could you become anxious?
Basic Foundation of stoicism
What I can control
My thoughts
My Actions
What I can't control
Outside circumstances
Other people's behavior
Stock market, Real Estate market, Sales
Exercise
Every time you are anxious
Ask yourself What exactly am I anxious,
nervous or scared about?
Like a surgeon
Dissect your thougths
What exactly is within my control in this
situation?
Make a list of 5 things
What I say
What is my body language going to be
like?
What is my mindset going to be like?
What all is outside my control in this
situation?
Make a list of 5 things
How they will react
How others around me will react
Will they like me or not?
Will they invest in my company
Will she agree to go on a date with me
How can I improve what is within my
control?
Make a list of 5 things
Pick one thing and do it!
The People you surround yourself
with
“Above all, keep a close watch on
this— that you are never so tied
to your former acquaintances and
friends that you are pulled down
to their level. If you don’t, you’ll
be ruined. . . . You must choose
whether to be loved by these
friends and remain the same
person, or to become a better
person at the cost of those
friends . . . if you try to have it
both ways you will neither make
progress nor keep what you once
had.”
Jim Rohn "We are the average of the 5
people we spend the most time with"
Tony Robbins
The most powerful strategy to grow
Find others who are excelling at what you
want to accomplish and associate with
them
Your relationships will evolve/change over
time
That is OK
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