Think of one recent communication - verbal, written communication where you were trying to influence another
Now, rather than your own experience of the event, try to experience the same memory from the perspective of the other party - shift position, emotional experience, and try to get what it might have been for them
Now, shift again and be like an objective observer, not you, not another, but separate to all those involved. What do you notice that you didn't in the previous two perspectives?
Now honestly communicate what your experience was to your partner - as though you want to get them to experience what you experienced.