4 Tendencies Summary

4-Tendencies-Summary
About the Book
Title
The Four Tendencies
The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal
How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's
Lives Better, Too)
Release Date
September 12, 2017
Hardcover: 272 pages
About the Author
Gretchen Rubin
Books
Better Than Before
The Happiness Project
Happier at Home
Podcast
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Course
The Four Tendencies Course
Mobile App
Better: From Gretchen Rubin
Conclusion
Knowing more about your own
tendencies can help you to...
Learn about your strengths and
weaknesses
Overcome your weaknesses and get
things done that you've always struggled
with
Avoid pitfalls and play to your strengths
Knowing the tendencies of the people
around you will help you to...
Deal with them effectively
Become more understanding towards
them, even if their behavior is frustrating
No one type is better than the other
No one type is happier than the other
What makes us happy is to understand
ourselves and one another better
Rebels
People who push against both outer and
inner expectations
Smallest group of the four tendencies
Value freedom and individuality
Love to defy assumptions
Good
Willing to work hard (as long as they feel
like they are the one making the decision)
Bad
Often unable to stick to routines and do
what's good for them
How to deal with Rebels
Don't give direct orders
Instead, provide information, then walk
away and let them make their own choice
Try reverse psychology by setting a bet
If you're a rebel, try to align your goals
with your identity
Main Question of the Book
How do you respond to
expectations?
Why is this important?
The question offers selfinsight
Helps us reach your full potential
Improve productivity
Deepens our understanding of others
What kind of expectations are we talking
about?
Outer expectations
From society
From work
From friends and family
Inner expectations
Which we set for ourselves
There are four tendencies to responding
to expectations
People fit into one of
four categories
Upholders
Questioners
Obligers
Rebels
Obligers
People who meet outer expectations but
struggle with inner expectations
The largest of the four groups
Value teamwork and duty
Good
Put others ahead of themselves
Dependable
Effective at meeting others' demands
Bad
Have trouble doing things that
require motivation
e.g. sports, courses, meditation
Often suffer from low selfesteem
Wrongly perceived as lazy
How to deal with Obligers
If you're an Obliger, try to turn internal
expectations into external expectations
Things that can help
e.g. the threat of being charged a fee
e.g. the threat of letting someone else down
Upholders
People who excel at meeting both inner
and outer expectations
Love schedules, task lists, clear
instructions
Aim to please, have no problem taking
orders
Value selfreliance and performance
Good
Reliable, productive, take care of
themselves
Easily form new habits
Don't require micromanagement
Make great bosses and managers
Bad
Don't question things
Resistant to change
Blindly adhere to rules
New habits can tighten and become more
controlling over time
How to deal with Upholders
Give clear instructions
Avoid spontaneous changes
Be understanding and tolerant
Questioners
People who meet inner expectations but
struggle with outer expectations
They do what makes sense to them, even
if it means ignoring rules set by others
Skeptical about rules and procedures
Value justification and performance
Good
Set and meet their own expectations
Great at finding ways to improve existing
procedures
Come up with novel ideas
Well suited for researchheavy roles
Bad
Can be exhausting to deal with
Not really team players
Can suffer from analysis paralysis when
trying to make a decision
Analysis paralysis = overthinking a
situation so that an action is never taken
Not good for jobs that require a lot of
decisionmaking
How to deal with Questioners
Provide precise reasons and justifications
when you ask something of them
Don't question them; instead ask them to
share their knowledge
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