MindMap Gallery 4 Tendencies Summary
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4 Tendencies Summary
The Four Tendencies is a personality profile framework to help you understand how you and the people around you deal with their outer and inner expectations.
Edited at 2020-10-10 11:49:59
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4-Tendencies-Summary
About the Book
Title
The Four Tendencies
The Indispensable Personality Profiles That RevealHow to Make Your Life Better (and Other People'sLives Better, Too)
Release Date
September 12, 2017
Hardcover: 272 pages
About the Author
Gretchen Rubin
Books
Better Than Before
The Happiness Project
Happier at Home
Podcast
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Course
The Four Tendencies Course
Mobile App
Better: From Gretchen Rubin
Main Question of the Book
How do you respond toexpectations?
Why is this important?
The question offers selfinsight
Helps us reach your full potential
Improve productivity
Deepens our understanding of others
What kind of expectations are we talkingabout?
Outer expectations
From society
From work
From friends and family
Inner expectations
Which we set for ourselves
There are four tendencies to respondingto expectations
People fit into one offour categories
Upholders
Questioners
Obligers
Rebels
Upholders
People who excel at meeting both innerand outer expectations
Love schedules, task lists, clearinstructions
Aim to please, have no problem takingorders
Value selfreliance and performance
Good
Reliable, productive, take care ofthemselves
Easily form new habits
Don't require micromanagement
Make great bosses and managers
Bad
Don't question things
Resistant to change
Blindly adhere to rules
New habits can tighten and become morecontrolling over time
How to deal with Upholders
Give clear instructions
Avoid spontaneous changes
Be understanding and tolerant
Obligers
People who meet outer expectations butstruggle with inner expectations
The largest of the four groups
Value teamwork and duty
Good
Put others ahead of themselves
Dependable
Effective at meeting others' demands
Bad
Have trouble doing things thatrequire motivation
e.g. sports, courses, meditation
Often suffer from low selfesteem
Wrongly perceived as lazy
How to deal with Obligers
If you're an Obliger, try to turn internalexpectations into external expectations
Things that can help
e.g. the threat of being charged a fee
e.g. the threat of letting someone else down
Questioners
People who meet inner expectations butstruggle with outer expectations
They do what makes sense to them, evenif it means ignoring rules set by others
Skeptical about rules and procedures
Value justification and performance
Good
Set and meet their own expectations
Great at finding ways to improve existingprocedures
Come up with novel ideas
Well suited for researchheavy roles
Bad
Can be exhausting to deal with
Not really team players
Can suffer from analysis paralysis whentrying to make a decision
Analysis paralysis = overthinking asituation so that an action is never taken
Not good for jobs that require a lot ofdecisionmaking
How to deal with Questioners
Provide precise reasons and justificationswhen you ask something of them
Don't question them; instead ask them toshare their knowledge
Rebels
People who push against both outer andinner expectations
Smallest group of the four tendencies
Value freedom and individuality
Love to defy assumptions
Good
Willing to work hard (as long as they feellike they are the one making the decision)
Bad
Often unable to stick to routines and dowhat's good for them
How to deal with Rebels
Don't give direct orders
Instead, provide information, then walkaway and let them make their own choice
Try reverse psychology by setting a bet
If you're a rebel, try to align your goalswith your identity
Conclusion
Knowing more about your owntendencies can help you to...
Learn about your strengths andweaknesses
Overcome your weaknesses and getthings done that you've always struggledwith
Avoid pitfalls and play to your strengths
Knowing the tendencies of the peoplearound you will help you to...
Deal with them effectively
Become more understanding towardsthem, even if their behavior is frustrating
No one type is better than the other
No one type is happier than the other
What makes us happy is to understandourselves and one another better