Golden sentence: Fear and anxiety are not necessarily our enemies, they are also necessities for survival. We cannot eliminate anxiety, we can only be with it.

1. Unfinished items

2. Uncertainty

3. Passivity, also called inconsistency

4. Lack of sex (such as lack of money)

1. Unfinished business - make plans and restore order

2. Uncertainty - maintain good expectations, fluid expectations, prepare for the worst, be fully prepared, and have a complete and unified philosophy of life

Golden sentence: The boredom in youth, the fear in the face of choices, and the pain after failure are all caused by an imperfect philosophy of life. Everyone should have the ability to justify themselves to answer important questions in life.

3. Passivity-every decision in life must be made by oneself

4. Lack of sex - don’t compete with the people around you, benchmark against the top players

Famous quote: Whether it’s anxiety or stress, they are life’s currency detectors.

1. Positive expression and sharing of happiness

2. Be with happy people

3. Practice gratitude

1. Competence

2. Sense of belonging

3. Initiative

Golden sentence: The reason why a person can be happy is not because all the unpleasant things in life have been eliminated, but because happy things are happening.

Golden sentence: We always cycle in this pattern: being stimulated - working hard - giving up. Slowly, we start not to dare to work hard, because once we work hard, we will be proven again that we really can't do it. In the end, all the unwillingness turned into imagination, and I used self-comfort to achieve a balance.

Golden sentence: Throw away illusions, prepare for struggle, face reality, and solve problems.

Self-acceptance is an important part of personal growth and the basis of self-understanding, which can help us better understand and accept others;

Golden sentence: We are not confident, our values ​​are confused, we have seen a little bit of the world but not enough, we have read a little but not enough, and we are in a period of "self-denial".

1. Confirm your own character

2. Confirm your own character

3. Confirm your own abilities

4. Confirm your attitude

Record: record your own behavior patterns, record the facts themselves, record the evaluations of others

1. Distinguish between true self and displayed self

2. Have reasonable self-expectations

3. Know how to educate yourself, discover yourself, and control yourself

1. Cognition, 2. Interpretation, 3. Emotion generation

Golden sentence: If you change your cognition, you will change the way you interpret facts; if you change the way you interpret it, you will change your emotions;

1. Actively confirm the cognition behind emotions and replace them with reasonable logic;

2. Counterfactual interpretation

3. From focusing on emotions to focusing on facts

4. Make it funny

Golden sentence: Because we understand, we are tolerant. Therefore, the best way to maintain emotional stability and peace of mind is not to read more chicken soup books or listen to music on a rainy afternoon, but to enhance your understanding of the world, whether it is beautiful or ugly, whether it is good or bad. of.

Golden Quote: The more someone wants to interfere in the other person’s world, the more likely they are to be frustrated.

Golden sentence: Everyone has his own freedom. As long as he does not harm others or violate the law, he can do anything. Remember this sentence and you will feel less angry.

Tolerance is top-down, so don't assume that you are equal to the other person. If you imagine that you are superior to the other person, you will become more tolerant.

Avoid committing your entire life to one thing or one person. Make more friends, see a bigger world, and have a bigger dream.

There are two kinds of things you can't say: those that evaluate the other person's personality or character, and those that deny the basis of the relationship.

1. Naturally sensitive

2. Original family and external evaluation

3. Sensitive period of growth

4. The accumulated sense of achievement is too little

5. Comparison and self-denial

External feedback, self-recognition

1. Delineate the scope of capabilities (get more success feedback, shift focus, accept failures outside the scope)

2. Pay attention to growth (if you can’t do it now, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it in the future)

3. Correctly identify responsibilities

4. Like and praise others

1. Information value (information that was not known before)

2. Resource value (introducing customers, job opportunities)

3. Emotional value (providing a sense of belonging and acceptance, applause)

4. Intellectual value (providing ideas and solutions to problems)

value, cost, risk;

1. Intimacy level: family members and friends with particularly good relationships (spending time and energy on management and management)

2. Network level: Can provide help in a certain aspect (kindness, sincerity, proactive help)

3. Social level: just acquaintance (mutual respect)

Golden sentence: Don’t give your best time to the wrong person

Misjudgment of social value

Don’t waste too much energy on the social level and know how to say no.

When facing people in your network, you must learn to ask for help proactively and don’t be afraid of rejection.

1. Position keywords (don’t conflict)

2. Implant keywords into other people’s minds and expose them frequently

Golden sentence: Never be so passive in leaving an impression on others, but learn to take the initiative and plan and manage like a director.

1. Determine your trading party

2. Listening makes it easier to provide value

3. Don’t have useless conversations (useless and boring, causing negative feelings to the other party)

1. Critical words

2. Opposition to rhetoric

3. Ask for words

4. Reject words

1. Ability to provide resources and help

2. Ability to think independently and profoundly

Golden sentence: What is needed in the complex real world? What is needed is the ability of insight and understanding, the ability to analyze and think, the ability to express and influence, and the ability to create and coordinate.

1. Definition: Accumulated and stored knowledge

2. Possessing relevant background knowledge can classify new knowledge into past memories and experiences, thereby improving memory ability

3. The amount of background knowledge seriously affects learning efficiency. The more you learn, the faster you learn.

1. Especially love listening to and reading stories

2. Emotional

3. Can’t distinguish between emotion and logic

4. You can only start from yourself

5. Like to treat hypotheses as results

6. Use phenomena instead of causes

7. Treat probability as inevitable

1. Push-up thinking (chain of reasons method, tracing the source and reliability of evidence, and time and space tracing method)

2. Push-down thinking (hypothesize the result and deduce what will happen next)

1. Use other people’s experiences as learning materials

2. Use other people’s thinking as a direction of divergence

Quote: Although I have never experienced it personally, I have also thought about many things that are more complex and larger than my experience. This is how you see the world. See and think.

Golden sentence: When we have no capital and no good development opportunities, learning is the only way for us to shorten the gap with others. Learning is the way that allows us to win faster and is the only weapon for us to catch up with others.

Little study time, too broad scope of study, and excessive pursuit of perfect plans and frameworks lead to inability to start

1. Interest, 2. Urgent use, 3. For a vague sense of usefulness; (learn what is urgently needed first)

1. Apply what you learn in a timely manner and get feedback

2. Because it is urgently needed, it will remind you to learn it immediately.

3. High learning efficiency

1. Make a list of questions

2. Start with the most urgent thing on the list and use keywords to search the book list on Douban

3. Look at the table of contents and start with the chapters you are most anxious to read.

4. Write down the questions and take reading notes

1. Even if you are young, you don’t have so many opportunities for trial and error.

2. Don’t be afraid to expose your shortcomings and be ready to jump out of your comfort zone at any time.

3. The boss only likes to do multiple-choice questions, not short-answer questions.

4. Understanding people is more important than learning technology

5. Do things that will have long-term results.

6. Work is the top priority

1. Before falling in love for the third time, if you feel it is not suitable, you should break up decisively.

2. As long as you state your needs, most quarrels can be avoided.

3. Men also dislike their girlfriends for being poor, and there are many such people.

4. It’s best to talk to the other person before getting married.

5. Quarrel is an opportunity to enhance feelings

1. You should have two or three reliable friends.

2. The sooner you make plans, the better

3. Learn to rest

4. Learn to focus on your life goals

5. Family is most important

6. You can start over at any time

7. Always rely on yourself

1. To-do items: write them down and deal with them together

2. Negative emotions: transformed into to-do items or self-direction

Detachment: people, things, things

GTD (Getting Things Done): Collect all to-dos together, then classify them and deal with them one by one.

1. After GTD, pick out the to-do items for the day;

2. Estimate the time to complete

3. Anticipate obstacles and problems that may be encountered

4. After finishing, review the completion status.

1. Affect life and work efficiency

2. Impression of personal development and physical and mental health

1. Happens at the moment of choice: a happy path, a painful path

2. Reason 1: The task is difficult: the painful path is too painful

3. Reason 2: Perfectionism

4. Reason 3: Overconfidence in future self and underestimate the difficulty of future tasks;

5. Reason 4: The brain will underestimate future benefits and focus on present benefits.

6. Reason 5: Self-deception (such as doing housework first)

1. Make the future benefits huge enough, or visible right before your eyes; (shorten feedback time, make it concrete)

2. Very fearful and disgusted with the bad results that lead to happiness or let the bad results happen immediately (promise to end in advance, agree on mutual inspection)

3. Increase obstacles on the path to happiness (such as taking your phone somewhere else)

4. Make the painful path less painful (do the hardest thing, but start with the simplest, micro-plan)

5. Reduce choices: Determine time and location in advance

6. Overcome perfectionism and grade the sense of achievement

Quote: The stupidest thing is to hesitate to start because you are afraid of not doing it perfectly. There is a difference between failing and handing in a blank paper: I allow myself to do poorly, but I don’t allow myself to have the courage to even take a look at the question.

1. What can I not do? Such as a party

2. What can I let others do? Such as housework

3. What can be done to shorten the time? For example, listening to lectures at double speed

Quote: The more important decision than what to do is what not to do

1. Investment (increase)

2. Unnecessary consumption (control)

3. Necessary consumption (shortened)

4. Waste (eliminate)

1. Interested in investing and attach importance to future benefits

2. Multiple utilization (fragmented time)

3. Buy time and ask for help

4. Shorten necessary consumption time

5. Reduce unnecessary and eliminate waste (Is it happy? Is it useful? Input-output ratio?)

Golden sentence: Become the master of time and let your time generate compound interest.

Famous quote: A career you love is like a gambler playing mahjong, it won’t feel hard. What is real suffering? It is you who have to do things you don’t like to do, it is you who are constantly being chased and rushed forward, and it is you who feel like you are wasting your life every minute. What's more painful than this? It's because you did a bunch of things that you felt were meaningless and unhappy, but you didn't do them well enough. Procrastination and laziness occur among them, so you still have to scold yourself, deny yourself, and feel that you are a useless person and why you can't do this well.

1. Make your own choice; 2. Try anyway; 3. It takes a little courage.

Golden sentence: We don’t have to be smart, talented, or talented. As long as we are focused enough, we will be ahead of others.

1. Eliminate external interference (set sacred time, wear headphones, isolate work and study areas)

2. Eliminate internal interference (GTD, knowing the purpose of doing things, clarifying the start and end time, moderate task difficulty, Pomodoro Technique, increasing pressure, getting ready in time, moderate distraction)

Willpower is limited, what you do is not interesting, too difficult, and the pressure is not high enough

1. Choose only one goal

2. Confirm your strategy over and over again

3. Digitize your efforts

4. Design a feedback system

5. Periodic persistence (such as 7 days)

6. Only give yourself one chance

7. Find someone to persevere with

8. Boast and show off

9. Find new ways

10. Form a habit

11. Be wary of moral licensing

Golden sentence: The more people worry about making money, the less they can make money. It’s not that they don’t work hard, but that they don’t understand. The annoying thing is that the richer a person is, the more he understands and the easier it is to become rich.

There are three kinds of sidewalks on the road to wealth, the slow lane and the fast lane. The sidewalk leads to poverty, the slow lane leads to mediocrity, and the fast lane leads to wealth.

Golden sentence: Most people are walking in the slow lane, but they don’t know it. It’s called “the great deception.”

1. One penny per time, such as cleaning;

2. One minute of time earns N times the money, such as Internet courses;

3. Don’t waste time and make N times as much money. The money-making system can automatically make money. For example, for a founder, all services are standardized and an external CEO is hired to manage;

Golden sentence: But those who can make money have such thinking habits. They often think about how to escape the constraints of time and make everything run automatically.

Positive type: see the possibility of success; defensive type: sensitive risk issues

Golden sentence: This is also the reason why we can seize more opportunities, because we often ask ourselves: How can we do it? Have we tried all the methods? Why not me? why it's not me? Is the problem solvable? Tried every method?

1. Break the fear of the consequences of failure: list the consequences and mark the corresponding methods (material, spiritual, interpersonal, opportunity)

2. Allow failure rules

Golden sentence: When a child just learns to walk, you cannot ask him not to fall or do anything in his life that he has never done before, and you cannot ask yourself not to fall. Even if you fall, don't be afraid. No child dares to stand up and continue walking after falling.

3. Practice rules: We regard everything we do as an exercise in life. Analysis failed.

1. It is necessary to accumulate some acquired experience.

2. Master the techniques and methods of learning.

Golden sentence: When a person knows how to study, he need not be afraid of problems.

Purely by selling one's own mental and physical strength, but there is an upper limit on time and the growth rate is very slow.

The first lever: Peking University; the second to participate in "Super Speaker"; the third: to take online courses;

To deal with one person is to deal with many people, such as the social butterfly and the lead dancer;

Examples: loan, buying land, building a building, selling

Make a product within a certain period of time and sell it to many people

Buying other people’s time, the difference between Li Yang and Yu Minhong

Golden sentence: The winner in life is nothing more than this, using other people's time, other people's wisdom, and other people's physical strength to make money.

Keep your eyes on the goal and learn to explain the goal. Only this is your goal.

Golden sentence: Never regard goals as strategies, and never regard plans as actions.

1. Find out the obstacles and problems and really find them;

2. Design solutions to problems;

3. The methods become a system; (each action goal is unified, and each link promotes each other and is continuous)

4. Concentrate on solving the problem.

1. Start on time and overcome procrastination

2. Stay focused,

3. Focus must be sustained

Golden sentence: Effect = time * energy * goal * strategy * concentration * proficiency

Proactively set up feedback links to ensure success

After seeing the feedback and analyzing the problem, we repeatedly adjust and execute in cycles until we truly achieve the goal.

Record successful methods and apply them to other scenarios

1. Why do people who don’t have a record of making mistakes and saying things wrong are running naked? Your mistakes will be exposed at all stages of life and to all kinds of people.

Golden sentence: Reliability is the rarest quality, and reliability will become your huge competitive advantage.

2. The error itself is particularly stubborn

3. People are too forgetful (recency effect)

1. Record mistakes made due to sloppiness and habit.

2. Record what others say and do wrong

3. Record what you did wrong because you didn’t know it

4. Record things that others have done right, but you didn’t know before.

1. Regret is useless, growth is the most important (don’t forget emotions)

2. Self-examine the reasons, and get to the details before stopping. Any approach that is not specific is useless.

3. Make it a habit

4. After the analysis, summarize the reasons for the error in one sentence.

Can be based on object, situation, purpose

Golden sentence: The correct approach in negotiation: I can put forward a condition that is more demanding than what I want. When the other party rejects my more demanding request, it is possible to agree to my original request.

Viewpoint: The 80/20 principle: When a bunch of questions come to you, identify the key issues and determine what is the most important.

Golden Quote: Why is there always a difference between your efforts and others' efforts? Because any matter has its important 20%, the 28/20 principle tells us: 80% of the results are produced by 20% of the efforts.

1. Take responsibility

2. Self-realization (what you like, what you are good at, what you have)

3. Spare effort to benefit others

Obedient period, break-away period, free period

Motto: All choices are my choices. Everything I do feels comfortable and I accept myself.

Just start by trying, approaching and persevering in your own way.

Golden sentence: If you want to build a city, start by moving a brick, bend your waist, and take your water road, dirt road, and bumpy dirt road before walking on a flower road. Don't suffer the hardships of a 20-year-old when you are 40.

Golden sentence: There are already many balance propositions in life, and it may take you a lifetime to master the secrets, such as how to balance family and career.

Golden sentence: Unless we burn the boat and put ourselves to death, there will be no change in our lives. We are kidnapped by prejudice, fear, and excuses, and live a life of self-deception.

Golden sentence: People, those things you can’t let go of are nothing more than a false sense of security and vanity.

1. Record your moments of achievement

2. Record the comments of people around you

3. Deliberately develop a circle of competence based on familiar areas

Golden sentence: How many people do some aimless and confused things in the name of youth, and make some self-righteous mistakes in the name of pursuit. I'm not afraid of your willfulness, but I'm afraid that you don't understand enough in your heart.

1. Like is definitely not a whim

2. Don’t regard interest as instant gratification

3. Don’t make a conclusion about your interests at the beginning (stick to it)

Golden sentence: Exam-oriented education will not give you the answer, and the university will not give you the answer. Only you can take the initiative to find it, slowly understand the world, and then combine your own strengths to find a field that you are willing to devote your life to. This kind of stable love is the source of strength for lifelong struggle.

1. Think vertically, and analyze what your region, industry, enterprise, and position were like in history, what it is like now, and what it will be like in the future (in terms of time, compare history)

2. Think laterally: compare the same positions in other industries

3. Three-dimensional thinking: First set a point in time, and compare the development in this position with the development in other positions I can choose.

Golden sentence: Thinking from a horizontal, vertical, and three-dimensional perspective can break the limitations of point-like thinking, allowing you to no longer be limited to a certain point when choosing a direction, but to look at the position behind the salary and the company behind the position. , the industry behind the enterprise, the city behind the industry, and the country behind the city.