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MindMap Gallery Accompany your children’s lifelong growth

Accompany your children’s lifelong growth

This is a mind map about accompanying children's lifelong growth. The main contents include perspectives, the essence of education, and the three pillars - rebuilding the parent-child relationship.

Edited at 2022-11-06 15:48:44

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Accompany your children’s lifelong growth

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Outline

Accompany your children’s lifelong growth

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Parental growth - child growth

Put the center on yourself

demonstration

Our children love us more than we love our children

All children have endless problems

Parents only need to give their children knowledge, patience and love

Children are living beings, not mechanical bodies

Living beings: We are just guides, like cats

Machinery: We plan all the steps, like a washing machine

the nature of education

Children are "copies" of their parents

The parent-child relationship is a reflection of the child and the world

A child’s lifelong learning, behavior, and health status

✅Positive words

❎Negative words

respond to each other

Children are learning every moment, and they are learning from their parents whether they are right or wrong.

Reciprocity

The TV and mobile phone cannot interact, and the children will be sluggish.

3T principles: empathize (tune in), communicate fully (talk more), and take turns (take turns)

Parents determine thinking patterns

Most good things come easily

imaginary enemy

Stay away - poor quality parent-child relationship

Growth Killer-Domestic Violence

Angry - Adrenaline ⤴️

Release - return to normal

Holding it in - unable to control oneself

lack of security

unclear goal

sightseeing life

Live for the people around you

immersive life

live for yourself

Fear - cold violence

A child's biggest fear is that his parents will ignore him

ignore children

shut out

Throw away things your child likes

Valid for short term

Children love us far more than we love our children

subconscious childhood trauma

Rebellion because of injury

Couple arguing constructively

Don’t shy away from speaking out about your pain

empathic listening

Say what you feel

solve

Not teaching her how to do it

Give her confidence, encourage him, and give her space.

The difference between love and control

Education-Complex System

complex system

It's a living body, not a mechanical body

score

Never stare while doing homework

Vitality of life - complex system

Einstein: We have special abilities, knowledge, love of curiosity

Da Vinci: I think it’s fun, this is interesting, so I’ll work hard to study it.

Curiosity seeking knowledge

three pillars

unconditional love

mistake:

If you keep doing this, I won't care about you

If you keep doing this, I won't love you anymore

If you keep doing this, I won’t want you anymore

Abandon the child on the street

sense of inadequacy

Make sure you are loved and have a forever belonging

attach a label

children become labels

Compare

Deny yourself

sense of value

growth mindset

Three Pillars-Rebuilding the Parent-Child Relationship

Adler's "Inferiority and Transcendence"

All losers fail because they lack a sense of belonging and social interest

Sense of belonging: knowing which family you belong to

Sense of value: Find motivation and be willing

Belonging: unconditional love

No exchange, no intimidation, no threats

True love - no exchange required

Consequences: Confusion - not knowing what is right, what is wrong, what is important, what is not important

work hard for recognition

Don't follow yourself

Home is home without requirements

Mobilize children's inner motivation and let them grow on their own

Don’t let “dislike” enter your mind

No matter what, I promise you, not just because of good grades

Mistake: No matter what you do, I won’t love you anymore

The child thinks: If I am good, you will love me

If it's not good, you don't love me

Accept your child’s imperfections

Unconditional love is not doting

The right thing to do when your child makes a mistake:

First of all: Because I love you, I firmly oppose you to do this. I want to talk to you about it.

After the conversation: Although Dad criticized you today, Dad will always love you

The most unbearable thing for children is not to be loved

As a result, children will never admit their mistakes

Parents become their children’s unconditional trust and unconditional dependence

correct

Find your child’s highlights

Don't pay attention to the dark side

Courageously express love and appreciation for children

Sense of value: determines how high a child can fly

Sense of worth and high level of self-esteem

Realize that your life is valuable

No one has a sense of value

Comparisons reduce feelings of value

Enhance sense of value

Let children share household chores

Take care of others' emotions

Able to realize that what you do is valuable

Realize that you can change yourself and the people around you through study and work

The higher the self-discipline, the higher the level of self-esteem

High level of self-esteem - easy to manage children

Interaction - positive - boosts self-esteem

The more problems you give your child, the more serious the problem will be.

Addicted - because I can't discipline myself

Despite the disappointment - he is my child, so he should have hope and help his child develop a sense of value.

Ignite a sense of worth

Find highlights and offer praise (do not use material rewards)

Praise children’s spiritual core

When a child behaves correctly one after another

The sense of value will increase

Tell your children that with self-discipline, the efficiency of doing things will immediately increase a lot.

Tell your child regularly what he can do, and he will really be able to do it.

"Positive Discipline": If you think your child is in difficulty, it must be because the violation method is wrong.

Forget your identity and grow up with your children

Express expectations without sarcasm or sarcasm

As long as you don't get weird and criticize Huaihuai, that's fine

Develop good habits for lifelong growth

When parents grow up, children will grow up

Behind the virtues is a growth mindset

You have the ability and willingness to do things, but with a fixed mindset, it will be difficult to do things.

Real relaxation comes when one can learn from past setbacks

Positive language interaction-have a growth mindset

mistake:

Doing things to prove: such as taking exams

Children feel that learning is just to prove themselves

correct:

Dare to try anything

Other people’s evaluations are not important. What matters to me is: have I learned and made progress?

Why give up your own happiness because of other people's eyes?

Absorbing every nutrient in life all the time is learning

Don't worry about being unhappy

focus on process

Laws and methods of lifelong growth

1. Establish a sense of belonging and worth

I'm here to help you, not to grade you

2. Learn to praise

Praising the process and motivation is never the result

You can practice, keep practicing to change

Parents should emphasize learning from the process and experience, rather than results and rankings, emphasizing that children are not smart enough

Learn a growth mindset and allow for mistakes and setbacks

If we only focus on shortcomings, mistakes, and risks, we will not be able to enjoy life.

Enjoy parent-child life instead of being picky.

Recognize yourself well and find a little bit of happiness in your knowledge

You can choose between vicious cycle and virtuous cycle

Hold the remote control yourself