1. People’s need for love
The need to give love
My loving you has nothing to do with you, love is a unilateral action
The expression of love often does not ask for anything in return. It comes from the emotional impulse deep in the heart and is a pure giving.
need to be loved
Giving love is not for the sake of being loved, and the relationship between the two is not exchange.
Giving love is a natural expression of emotion that comes from a rich heart and care for others, rather than a transaction expecting something in return. True love does not ask for anything in return. It is not based on being loved, but is based on unconditional giving.
2.What is true love?
The beautiful feeling of one life liking another life
Beauty: Any feeling that is not beautiful is not love
The feelings brought by true love are always positive and beautiful, it does not make people feel painful,
Anxiety or restlessness. If a relationship is filled with negativity, it may not be true love
Love is an equal relationship
Love means respect and respect means equality. If it is true love, it must be equal, otherwise it is not.
True love is equality, no equality is not true love
True love will not tolerate unequal relationships because inequality undermines mutual respect and understanding between the parties, thus damaging the very essence of true love
love is unconditional
True love asks for nothing in return and has no preconditions
Love is complete acceptance
True love accepts all the flaws of the other person
True love means accepting the other person unconditionally in a relationship, regardless of their strengths and weaknesses. It goes beyond superficial attraction to a full acceptance of your partner's personality and habits
Love, tolerance and understanding of each other’s imperfections
True love does not expect the other person to be perfect and includes a deep understanding and tolerance of the partner, but is able to find space for resonance and acceptance in the imperfection of the other person.
True love accepts the past and the future
True love transcends time. It not only accepts you as you are now, but also accepts your past and your future possibilities. It is not limited to the current emotional state but encompasses acceptance of the entire life course
Love is support, not changing the other person
True love does not aim at changing the other person, but rather provides a supportive and encouraging environment so that the other person can grow and realize themselves freely. It respects each other's personality and choices and promotes mutual progress of both parties
The presence or absence of love is determined by the loved one
The feeling of the beloved determines the existence of love
The spark of true love ignites in the heart of the beloved, and their feelings are the only criterion for measuring the existence of love.
True love respects the feelings and choices of the loved one
True love is not about imposing, but about listening and understanding. Respecting each other’s feelings and choices is the true meaning of love.
The loved one has the right to decide whether to accept this love
In love, everyone has the right to choose, and the loved one can decide whether to let the relationship continue to exist.
3. The ingredients of love
1. Care 2. Respect 3. Understand 4. Accept 5. Appreciate 6. Tolerate 7. Give
4. What is not love but we often call it love?
1.Possession 2.Control 3.Domination 4.Force
I love you so I possess you
When a person tries to possess the other person's choices and decisions under the pretext of "it's for your own good", this behavior often masks the true possessiveness and desire for control.
In the name of love, unconditional obedience is required
Control the other person’s behavior and control in the name of love
5. Intervention 6. Slavery 7. Beating and scolding 8. Criticism
9. Blame 10. Arrange 11. Replace 12. Pamper
5. Why is love easily alienated?
1.Possession 2.Control 3.Domination 4.Slavery
5. Dependence 6. Request 7. Hatred 8. Jealousy
6. Our purpose of loving others
hope the other person is happy
Love and care, make the other person feel happy
Satisfy your need for love
Giving love brings inner satisfaction
7. Reasons why love works
Expression of feelings (only feelings can move people)
True love touches the soul
Unconditional (no expectation of reward)
No expectation of equal exchange
8. What is the role of love on people?
1. Increase self-worth (make people feel confident and life is beautiful)
In a loving relationship, people can clearly feel their importance to others, and this feeling of being needed enhances their sense of self-worth.
2. Stimulate people’s motivation to strive
When people feel true love, they often gain the courage to pursue their dreams because love makes them believe they are worthy of achieving higher goals.
3. Help people find the meaning of life
True love can lead to a lack of understanding of the meaning of life
Love is the ultimate answer to life
4. Eliminate loneliness
True love brings belonging
Through the connection of love, individuals find their place in society and feel they belong.
5. Eliminate fear
Fear is innate, love can dispel fear, give people peace of mind, not fear the unknown, and gain a sense of security.
9.How to get love
1. Give love
Giving love without purpose
2. lure
Charming and attractive
Through your confident attitude, sense of humor and good social skills, you can effectively attract the attention of others and make people feel your unique charm.
3.Thanksgiving
Express gratitude for your partner’s efforts
In daily life, expressing gratitude to your partner in a timely manner can enhance positive emotional communication between each other and make love deeper.
Cherish the time you spend together
No matter how busy you are, make time to spend together, even if it is a simple dinner or a walk, cherish every moment together and let love bloom in the ordinary.
Express valuing and maintaining relationships
Taking the initiative to communicate, jointly solving problems in the relationship, expressing your cherishment of the relationship and your willingness to work hard to maintain it are the keys to long-term love.
Celebrating life’s small achievements together
Celebrating and sharing your achievements with your partner, no matter how big or small, not only enhances your mutual happiness but also deepens your connection.
10. The trap of getting love
1.Requirements
You will never get true love by forcing the other person to love you by "requiring".
2. Complain
It is impossible to get the other person to love you by "complaining" that the other person does not love you.
11. What is the relationship between the way of love and the content of love?
1. The core content of love is emotion
Feelings are the prerequisite for the existence of form
2. Methods are used to express feelings
The way becomes empty without feeling
3. Without feelings, there is no meaning.
It’s hard to move people’s hearts without a ruthless approach. True love requires a combination of emotion and approach.
12.How many ways are there to love?
language expression
1. Say directly: I love you
written expression
1. Write letters and notes
2. Mobile WeChat: I love you
physical expression
Behavioral expression: hugging, patting on the shoulder, stroking hair, kissing, etc.
Eye expression: I love you
Comprehensive feeling: expressing love
With the help of external force
Gift Expression: Give her a gift she likes
do as one likes
Understand her interests and preferences and prepare surprises for her. Whether it's her favorite books, music, or artwork, giving her the right gift will show her that you understand and care about her.
13.What are the misunderstandings about love?
1. Misunderstandings about giving love: Love each other in the way you think is “right”
Ignore the actual needs of the other party and only act according to your own wishes
In the process of giving love, if you only care about your own ideas and do not consider the other person's real needs, this kind of love may become a burden rather than support.
Giving too much and not considering the other person’s feelings and boundaries
Excessive giving is often accompanied by a disregard for the other person's feelings and boundaries, which may cause the other person to feel suffocated or even have the idea of escape.
Use substances or actions to replace emotional communication and communication
Love is not just material giving or action. Love without emotional exchange and communication is incomplete and may make both parties feel lonely and misunderstood.
Don’t understand each other’s emotional needs, only love according to your own understanding
Love requires understanding the emotional needs of the other person, rather than giving based on your own understanding. This mismatched love may leave the other person feeling misunderstood and unappreciated
2. Misunderstanding about being loved: Thinking that the other person will love us in the way we think is “right”
People always understand my heart
Love is not a mind-reading skill. Don’t expect the other person to always guess your thoughts.
The other person should know whether I like it or not
Don’t take it for granted that the other person understands you, your preferences need to be clearly expressed
Expect the other party to meet your needs unconditionally
Don’t just ask the other person to satisfy you unconditionally
14.What is the trap of love?
1. Confusing the need to love and be loved
2. Simply understand the "problem of love" as the "problem of object"
Substitution is not a universal solution
Thinking that changing partners can solve love problems, but in fact the problem lies with you
Don’t forget to grow up in love
In love, you only focus on the other person, but forget that self-growth is the key
Changing partners makes it difficult to solve inner problems
Frequently changing partners is just because of unresolved inner problems, and love cannot last long
3. Treat the “way” of love as “love” itself
Think material giving is love
Some people think that giving gifts and spending money is love, but they ignore the sincere exchange of emotions.
Mistaking sweet words and sweet words for true love
Sweet words may sound nice, but if they are not supported by actions, they are just empty promises and not true love.
Only focus on form and ignore emotional communication
If formal romance lacks sincerity, it is like a soulless body and cannot sustain love for a long time.
Thinking that sex is the same as all love
It is a misunderstanding of love to regard sex as all of love and ignore the depth and breadth of emotions.
Ignoring expressions of love in small everyday things
True love is often hidden in the little things. Daily care and companionship are the true meaning of love.
15. There are several types of love as an emotion between people.
16. The difference between maternal love and sex
1. Process: maternal love is from oneness to separation; sex is from separation to oneness.
2. Nature: maternal love is non-exclusive; sexual love is exclusive
3. Essence: maternal love is noble; sex is mixed with selfishness
17. The relationship between love and sex
between men and women in love
1. Sex is an expression of love
2. Love is the reason (reason) for sex
18. How to sublimate love
1. Distinguish the difference between giving love and being loved, and love without regrets.
To give love is to take the initiative to give, to be loved is to receive care
Understand that love is given without expecting anything in return
After loving, even if there is no result, there should be no regrets
Love is beautiful. Even if the ending is not what you want, you should face it calmly and have no regrets about the past.
2. Learn to be grateful
Be grateful for every contribution of your partner
Cherish every contribution your partner makes in daily life and be grateful
Be grateful for the good things in life
Whether it is a small blessing or a big surprise, it is worth experiencing with gratitude.
Learn to be grateful and make love last longer
Gratitude can make both parties cherish each other more and make love become deeper and deeper over the years.
Express gratitude for love with actions
A hug and a thank you are the most sincere responses and gratitude to love.
3. Be kind to life
Care for the lives around you with love
Use love to warm every life. Even the smallest life is worthy of our care and protection.
Improve the level of love by treating life kindly
Treating life well is not only respect for life, but also a manifestation and proof of sublimating love to a higher level.
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