People are in relationships all the time

In different relationships, your self will be very different

What determines your behavior is the relationship you are in, not your personality

The relationship perspective can make a major transformation of the perspective of thinking about problems

The individual's self means a stable personality

No one is an isolated island, you can do it yourself. Everyone is a whole area of ​​the mainland

Character expectation provides clues to your behavior, making you unconsciously want to adapt to this expectation. And this is often a key factor affecting our behavior

The essence is the expectation of behavior between people

On the one hand, it is contradictory to say that your child has no autonomy, and on the other hand, it helps the child do everything well.

Considering what position and role the other party puts me, do you accept it?

If the other person is already feeling uncomfortable with me, is there any problem with his position and role?

If you have expectations of a person, don’t ask her verbally, but treat her like you expect him?

In fact, it is the role we are used to playing in relationships. Roles are both limitations and methods of change.

In terms of content communication, there is no content if you don’t speak, but in terms of relationship communication, there is a lot of content that you don’t speak.

Only by confronting relationships and discussing relationships can you have the opportunity to solve relationship problems

Learn to understand what others are saying from a relationship perspective and respond from a relationship perspective

Before discussing, think about how to reach a consensus on role

You lend the money to your friend, and then your friend pays it back, and you talk about it with your wife. The wife was angry and said, "Why do you always lend money to others?" replied, "You know the temperament of a friend, and the money has been paid back." The wife asked, "Why didn't you tell me?" replied, "I won't tell you this." You're here"

On the surface, your wife is angry that you shouldn't lend money to others, but in fact, your wife is angry that you have no negotiations on borrowing money. But why not discuss with your wife? Fear that his wife disagrees. Afterwards, your honesty brings your wife's anger, and you are also wronged.

The operation of the system requires different roles. Some people become face and some people become insiders, even if they are reluctant.

The behaviors and roles between people in a relationship are like a puzzle, which is when they shape each other into what they are now to complete the system's big puzzle.

Some people are very capable at home or in the team, and some people are very unavailable.

The system maintains the balance of the system by turning someone into someone with problems

Often the roles of family members

We will not be easily influenced by other people's emotions, but we can make choices freely

We can constantly explore new relationships and discover more new selves, rather than being tied to a relationship or a character that cannot move.

An independent, selective, yet responsible relationship

If your parents' problems take up too much attention, it will be difficult for us to be curious about exploring the world

Because I am used to observing other people's emotions, this insecurity can easily make them sensitive to other people's emotions

Unsafe attachment makes our relationship with our mother closer

It can easily cause defensive isolation

Twisting our emotions

Guilt and self-blame