MindMap Gallery Five Languages of Love Creating Perfect Sexual Communication
This is a mind map about the creation of perfect gender communication in five languages of love. The main content includes: gender communication principles, five languages, and book information.
Edited at 2025-01-11 20:50:10Rumi: 10 dimensions of spiritual awakening. When you stop looking for yourself, you will find the entire universe because what you are looking for is also looking for you. Anything you do persevere every day can open a door to the depths of your spirit. In silence, I slipped into the secret realm, and I enjoyed everything to observe the magic around me, and didn't make any noise. Why do you like to crawl when you are born with wings? The soul has its own ears and can hear things that the mind cannot understand. Seek inward for the answer to everything, everything in the universe is in you. Lovers do not end up meeting somewhere, and there is no parting in this world. A wound is where light enters your heart.
Chronic heart failure is not just a problem of the speed of heart rate! It is caused by the decrease in myocardial contraction and diastolic function, which leads to insufficient cardiac output, which in turn causes congestion in the pulmonary circulation and congestion in the systemic circulation. From causes, inducement to compensation mechanisms, the pathophysiological processes of heart failure are complex and diverse. By controlling edema, reducing the heart's front and afterload, improving cardiac comfort function, and preventing and treating basic causes, we can effectively respond to this challenge. Only by understanding the mechanisms and clinical manifestations of heart failure and mastering prevention and treatment strategies can we better protect heart health.
Ischemia-reperfusion injury is a phenomenon that cellular function and metabolic disorders and structural damage will worsen after organs or tissues restore blood supply. Its main mechanisms include increased free radical generation, calcium overload, and the role of microvascular and leukocytes. The heart and brain are common damaged organs, manifested as changes in myocardial metabolism and ultrastructural changes, decreased cardiac function, etc. Prevention and control measures include removing free radicals, reducing calcium overload, improving metabolism and controlling reperfusion conditions, such as low sodium, low temperature, low pressure, etc. Understanding these mechanisms can help develop effective treatment options and alleviate ischemic injury.
Rumi: 10 dimensions of spiritual awakening. When you stop looking for yourself, you will find the entire universe because what you are looking for is also looking for you. Anything you do persevere every day can open a door to the depths of your spirit. In silence, I slipped into the secret realm, and I enjoyed everything to observe the magic around me, and didn't make any noise. Why do you like to crawl when you are born with wings? The soul has its own ears and can hear things that the mind cannot understand. Seek inward for the answer to everything, everything in the universe is in you. Lovers do not end up meeting somewhere, and there is no parting in this world. A wound is where light enters your heart.
Chronic heart failure is not just a problem of the speed of heart rate! It is caused by the decrease in myocardial contraction and diastolic function, which leads to insufficient cardiac output, which in turn causes congestion in the pulmonary circulation and congestion in the systemic circulation. From causes, inducement to compensation mechanisms, the pathophysiological processes of heart failure are complex and diverse. By controlling edema, reducing the heart's front and afterload, improving cardiac comfort function, and preventing and treating basic causes, we can effectively respond to this challenge. Only by understanding the mechanisms and clinical manifestations of heart failure and mastering prevention and treatment strategies can we better protect heart health.
Ischemia-reperfusion injury is a phenomenon that cellular function and metabolic disorders and structural damage will worsen after organs or tissues restore blood supply. Its main mechanisms include increased free radical generation, calcium overload, and the role of microvascular and leukocytes. The heart and brain are common damaged organs, manifested as changes in myocardial metabolism and ultrastructural changes, decreased cardiac function, etc. Prevention and control measures include removing free radicals, reducing calcium overload, improving metabolism and controlling reperfusion conditions, such as low sodium, low temperature, low pressure, etc. Understanding these mechanisms can help develop effective treatment options and alleviate ischemic injury.
Five languages of love Create perfect gender communication
Book information
author
[US] Gary Chapman
publishing
Jiangxi People's Publishing House
This edition in 2018
Early 1992 edition
series
"The Word of Children's Love"
Written for parents to help them discover their children's main love words, and discuss how to deal with their children's anger, learning, and discipline
"Teenagement of Love"
"The Word of Single Love"
Help single adults apply love language to all their relationships in concept
"Five Languages of Love Men's Edition"
It may be better to read the husband's writing
Theme
How to meet the needs of love
The principle of gender communication
Definition of love
The language of love: the way to express love
type
Everyone's love language may be different
Influenced by genetics, growth environment, etc.
Gender, values, social atmosphere, people and things you come into contact with, etc.
The same person's love language type is divided into primary and secondary
The main love word is the most important, the other
Different love languages have different "dialects"
Each person has different expressions
significance
Efficiency: More easily felt the love conveyed
Otherwise, I will express my love but I will not notice it
Love needs to be managed
Feelings of love
Initially: acts of showing love driven by instinct
It's actually emotional, short-lived
But I mistakenly thought it would last forever
Ultimately: Return to selfishness, the behavior of love is difficult to sustain
When encountering friction and seeing flaws, the passion dissipates
The average life expectancy is two years
The right love
Reason and emotional love
Including willful action, self-control, satisfaction and growth
Actions that can give love for a long time
Restrain bad emotions and thoughts
Promote common growth between both sides
The essence of love is giving
Target
Make your lover happier and better
Lover fills the emotional love box
Only by filling the emotional love box will sufficient love support it to give rewards?
Healthy love
Meet the needs of love
Benefit from love
Safety
Feeling love, knowing that it won't hurt me, being able to relax in front of my lover
Self-worth
If someone loves me, I must be worthy of being loved
Feels meaningful
If someone loves me, my existence must make sense
growing up
Not entangled by self-needing can turn your energy outward and have the freedom to grow
Allow differences
Create a friendly atmosphere and be willing to understand, accept and discuss differences
Harvest
I've been satisfied
Suffering simply because your lover is happier and better
Lover will naturally give back
Because the emotional love box is filled, the benefits are fully benefited by love
trap
Not necessarily getting something immediately
Rewarding requires persistence
Love is worth paying and waiting
And it should never be utilitarian
Love and reward cannot be forced
Rely on requests rather than requests
Reasoning rather than repaying
Manipulate with guilt
Force with fear
Don't allow yourself to be exploited
It is not conducive to love: it is equivalent to allowing your lover to develop bad habits
I love you, so I can't let you treat me like this, and I'm not good to you and me.
People have the ability to make choices
Can make the other party better
It may mean pain, sadness, and no reward
But in the end, I tried to make efforts to change
You can also give up this relationship
Find the Lord's Love Word
in principle
Confirm as soon as possible: the main love words of yourself and your lover
Collaborate with each other: Help both parties find their main love words
Don't expect your lover to guess
practice
analyze
Feeling the deepest hurt
Which love language is often used by lovers on the contrary
Which love language is never used actively by your lover
Most often desire requests
Which love language can make you feel love the most
Which love words most desire and often ask for?
Ways to express love
Which love language is used to express love to your lover?
Instead, consider your lover's main love words in this way
Lover's complaints and criticisms
Lover's requests and feelings
Lover's usual expression
Sure
Confirm: Discuss the analysis results with your lover
Verification: Use love language to see lover's reactions
Use the same love language for a week
other
"Love Language Test Questions" in the book: Husband version, Wife version
Constructively express directly
Turn criticism into request
Pure venting is ineffective (although reason can get information from it)
Example: The husband criticizes his wife, and the wife says, "It sounds like that is important to you. Can you explain why?" After the husband explains why, he expresses his feelings and needs, he turns criticism into requests.
difficulty
The emotional love box has been filled for a long time
Can't determine which one can feel the most love
The emotional love box has been empty for a long time
Don't remember what makes it feel love
Can't confirm if you encounter confusing options
Example: Female sexual desire is more affected by emotions, but in addition to emotions, men are also naturally driven by physiological needs, but more demand does not mean the main love language, because only satisfying sex does not satisfy all their love.
change
The main love words are often unchanged throughout life
Like the same personality, you will be accustomed from a young age
But the expression of love language may change
Finding that the other party no longer accepts the original method, don’t mistakenly think that the love language changes and retreat
Example: "Body contact", you can hug and kiss your cheeks in childhood, but when you reach a teenage stage, you will no longer accept these methods and say "Don't touch me!" But this is not really not touching, but you can try it. Try patting his shoulders, elbows, and other more adult methods
But it will change temporarily when encountering special situations
Example: For mothers with 3 children, "actions of service" may be more needed
Use the Lord's Love Word
Use lover's love words
Specific types
Form details
Don't take it for granted in the way you are used to
Learn a new way to love
Start with small things, do more practice more
Example: "Assessment" can be written down and read continuously in front of the mirror.
It will be easier and easier next time
The more you use it, the more comfortable it is, the more comfortable it is, and the more handy it is
practise
Share with each other: the degree of filling the emotional love box every day
"What can I do to fill it for you?"
Try to meet your lover's needs
Even if your lover doesn't want to satisfy you
This is a demonstration and guidance
When love is difficult
Still available
Choice is different from the past
Making bad choices in the past does not mean that the future must be like this.
Hope the future will be different, so choose the right way to express love
Love is reborn in marriage
Worth choosing to change
First: Use your lover's love words to meet your lover's needs
Then: fill your lover's love box and you will naturally give positive returns
Next: My lover uses my love language to meet my needs
Finally: My love box is filled, I'd rather take action
Choose the unchanging trap
Feeling not love: expecting to fill the love box by finding new love
Falling in love: It feels good to fall in love, and may start a new marriage
No change: New marriage still cannot express love in suitable love words
Steps taken
Go to satisfy
practice
Continuously ask for the other party's needs and suggestions
Explore the main love words and forms
Work hard to tap into its real needs
Sometimes its request is just to vent and retaliate
No matter its attitude, try to do it
Assure the other party that the motivation is simple
Ask each other's feelings and reactions once a month
Make a request
condition
When the other person notices your love
practice
Try to make a request to let the other party do it
Don't ask immediately, wait for the next time
Don't force or threaten
The content should be clear, not concise
It's easy to complete
The way is consistent with your love words
Purpose
Guide the other person to use your love words
Guide the other party into a positive loop
result
Respond positively
The other person is willing to express his love the way you want
Don't overreact, expect too much, and keep a good rhythm
Indifferent
Keep your mind calm and endure loneliness and pain and continue to act
Severe challenges
question
Not necessarily giving positive feedback
Maybe the negative emotions in the past are too heavy
Not completely vented
Maybe not knowing how or afraid to express
Need to guide
May be worried that it will lead to pride and complacency
Need to give confidence
If your lover is unwilling to make changes
Thinking that you don't need to change or still feel that it's useless
If you are already full of resentment towards your lover
Past relationships are full of disappointment, pain and resentment
Even bullied, contemptuous, and even turned into enemies
response
More patience and persistence may be required
Love needs to be paid and worth a try
Take any reaction to release normally
Maybe a positive reaction will be given next time
Don't take negative measures in the same way
Persist in action by planning and will
Feeling love
Love first, action
Love of action
Choose to do this yourself
By will rather than feeling
For a good future
Write down your complaints to the other party
Don't tell it negatively
Learn constructive expression
It's best not to say anything at the beginning
Help find the request you want
Five languages
Affirmative words
definition
Positive words bring strength and happiness to people
Negative words bring people loss and pain
form
content
appreciate
Require
Direct and clear: simple, frank sentences
True and evidence: not false flattery
From the heart: not for a certain purpose
Reverse: Complaint
Forgiveness: not for the present, nor for the past
Don't let the past ruin a new day
Example: After every argument, I cried, “I will never forget how much you hurt me!”
Don't let love become a judgement relationship
Example: "You don't do anything well, why don't you...do it!"
Difference: Failed, but not loser
Example: "You made a mistake again, why are you so stupid!"
encourage
effect
Inspire courage to act
Inspire potential abilities
Require
Promote rather than force
Otherwise it's more like a blame
Respect its own choices
Starting from the needs of your lover
Instead of thinking that it's good
Tone
mild
Communicate in a peaceful, calm and respectful tone
Express your needs
Apology explanation
Discuss the differences
Don't express it in a negative tone
Irritability, anger, pain, contempt, etc.
ask
It is affirming: love ability, value and meaning
Example: "You help me put a bowl of noodles" → "The noodles you put are so delicious. Can you help me put a bowl of noodles?"
Equal relationship: make a request, not a request
Example: “If you don’t clean the eaves, I’ll be angry!” → “Do you have time on the weekend? I want to ask you to help clean the eaves”
way
Confirm directly in person
Indirect affirmation behind it
Someone will always convey it to your spouse
Ask when others are in person
Others can feel this love
Writing the text is sure
Response
When facing affirmation
Accept affirmation and express thanks
Don't praise immediately to reward
Listen carefully
Learn about the information: Needs and feelings in words
Pay attention to your lover's words
Trust your lover: Dig into the needs of words
Looking for
Language itself
Look at how your lover speaks
Idioms, expressions, etc.
Collect affirmative language
What I saw and heard from the outside world
Lover likes, responding
My dear words to you
Beyond language
Collect the advantages of your lover
Discover the potential of your lover
Talk about dreams, interests and talents
Overall assessment
Analyze carefully how it was done in the past
Is there any problem that needs to be changed
Is there any good one to keep
Record carefully to avoid unconscious negligence
Evaluate the communication mode between the two parties
Careful moments
definition
Give all your attention and do what (at least some party) likes together
key
Focus on concentration
It’s not about spending time together with the body, but about the heart being together
The activity form and distance are just carriers
What is important is the feeling of being together
Example: Instead of just sitting on the sofa watching TV together, turn off the TV, staring at each other and having a loving conversation
Worth sacrificing
Maybe give up some personal time
Abandon the excuse of not having time and energy
Looking for
Record and share what you hope to do together
Make plans to complete it
Take the initiative to invite your lover to discuss and act together
Example: Send a message to your lover "One evening this week, I want to date you and sit on the balcony and talk. Which night and what time are the best time for you?"
Review the meticulous moments that have brought the distance
It's a beautiful memory in life
Feel the meaning of careful moments
form
Careful conversation
listen
Have empathy
Want to identify, understand, and sympathize more
Instead of negating, summarizing, suggesting
The negative example: On the first day, when I got home, I met my lover and said that I had some problems at work. After hearing my lover, I always told him what to do. →The next day, my lover would ask him if he would handle it according to the advice I said. My lover shook his head and said no. →The same experience has been repeated several times. →I told my lover directly that I was angry. If I didn’t want to follow my advice, I would not listen again, and I would not want to get my sympathy.
Desire to understand
Lover's thoughts, feelings and needs
Enhance mutual understanding
Focused on
Don't do anything else
Or just inform us later
Don't interrupt the other person
Don't rush to defend, refute, or shirk responsibility
Don't think you understand it
Verbal response
Confirm your lover's meaning
It means that I am listening carefully
Keep your eyes in contact
Pay attention to body movements
Body language is a verbal supplement
Even more realistic ideas can be reflected
Express
effect
Promote mutual understanding
Give the other person a chance to understand himself
Understanding is the basis of love and closeness
content
Express feelings and emotions
Rather than just talking about ideas and requirements
The negative example: "I think he is wrong, he should..."
Positive example: “He did this and hurt me, I felt… so I hope he…”
Express it directly and clearly
Don't expect your lover to see it
difficulty
Repressing feelings and not expressing
Growing in an environment where expressing feelings is discouraged
There is no right or wrong emotions, just a normal psychological reaction
practise
Describe and record emotions
What emotions do I feel just now?
Try to express emotions
Try to express it in the way events → feelings
extreme
Listener type
I feel happy without saying or outputting
Need to learn to express
Expression type
Feeling uncomfortable if you don't speak or output
Need to learn to listen
To express oneself Listen to each other
Careful activities
condition
At least one person is looking forward to it
The other person accepts
Show love
My/Love cares about my/I am willing to do what I/Love likes together.
Gifts sent
definition
Gifts are visual symbols of love and emotion
What is important is to give it to the other person
Express love through gifts
Require
Whether a gift is valuable doesn't matter
But don't be too different from the economic level
Example: If a billionaire always gives something for a few bucks, the lover may doubt whether it is love; When the family's financial conditions are limited, a gift worth a few dollars can also express love worth one million yuan.
The value of a gift lies in the view of a lover
Willing to express love by spending money
Change your attitude towards money moderately
Difficulty: The money-saving person thinks (since he is unwilling to spend money on himself, there is no reason to spend money on his lover)
This is an effective investment in the relationship between the two parties
This is to meet the needs of lovers' love language
Looking for
Ask your lover to understand your gift preferences
Let lovers and relatives be advisers to solicit opinions
Observe your lover's reaction to different gifts
Others' suggestions for gifts
form
content
A gift for company
Use yourself as a gift when you need it
Refer to the meticulous moment
Bought gift
What gifts can be given during financial stress
Homemade gifts
What ingenious gifts can you make
Even spending time studying for this
Gift of nature
Special stones, feathers, leaves on the ground
Gift of life
Animals and plants are raised and cultivated together
opportunity
Fixed time: regular
Concentrated time: bombing
Regularly: Surprise
Don't worry too much about special times and occasions
Example: Concentrated time bombing "Send in the morning, at noon, and at night"
Actions of service
definition
Do it for your lover: what he wants you to do
difficulty
Stereotype: The male leads the outside, the female leads the inside
Men think they should not serve
Require
Complete with a positive attitude, not forced to surrender
Requesting boot services, not requiring forced
List the priority order of service requirements
Do it according to your lover's specific requirements
Instead of doing it as you like
If the completion is not good, don't criticize it
The point is your heart, don't hit it
Looking for
Ask each other about the services you hope
Take the initiative to solve hard and difficult things
form
You can try exchange service at the beginning
Developed to active service from the heart
Can complete the service secretly to surprise your lover
Tell your lover you are willing to serve
You can hire someone to help you with your service
Physical contact
definition
The body's closeness, contact, caress and even sex
Require
The wishes of both parties are the standard
Looking for
Observe your lover's actions and reactions
Share your reactions and needs
Discuss the concepts and ideas of touch
form
Part
More sensitive parts
Special parts of your lover
Avoid negative faces
Way
Avoid negative ways
Gentle and subtle
Passionate and clear
other
Occasion, time, etc.
try
Change established practices and try new parts and methods