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MindMap Gallery How can children think

How can children think

"How to use daily dialogue to inspire deep thinking for 312-year-old children? Dr. Miki Kano from Keio University in Japan is here! This book teaches parents to use questions instead of instructions, and uses dialogue to replace representatives with Yang's key points include: using 'why' to guide the root cause, cultivating forward thinking through talking about dreams, using film and television games to improve expression ability and reject rough discipline, allowing children to develop the habit of thinking in "discovery and awareness", bid farewell to indecision, and condense the author's 20 years of teaching experience, and the original "6 independent thinking classes at Harvard" method continues" (.

Edited at 2025-09-23 12:02:21

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How can children think

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Outline

How can children think

Basic introduction

Reject rude instructions and make your child's mind turn! Let children get rid of: just say nothing, drag it out, do whatever they want, be indecisive Let children develop the good habit of thinking twice before acting! Adapt to the cultivation of thinking and language skills of children aged 3-12

Author: [Japan] Miki Kano PhD at Keio University in Japan. He is currently a lecturer at Keio University and other universities. He teaches courses in thinking and English at universities for 20 years. Author of "Harvard's 6 Independent Thinking Courses"

How to answer your child's questions

Thinking ability

definition

Refers to the ability to think seriously with your brain

That is, survival ability

That is, having self-confidence, empathy, problem-solving ability, ability to face emotions, ability to use knowledge and imagination

Independent thinking

Have your own opinions about something or someone

People with the ability to think do not just follow the correct answers from others, but think independently and come up with a satisfactory answer.

Key points/basic structure

Understand carefully

Understanding is the prerequisite for improving thinking ability.

Think about the reasons

The process of thinking about the reasons is very important

Whether an opinion can be convincing depends on whether it can explain why it can be said that and why it thinks so.

Think deeply about whether there are other ways to think

Thinking is a habit

Family is the first choice to develop thinking habits

If parents prepare the correct answer, their children will not think

Use rhetorical questions to guide children to think

Split complex problems into several, and children can find answers through independent thinking, thereby increasing their interest in thinking

Think and share with your children, and encourage them to experience more

Principles for cultivating children's thinking ability

Become a partner for children to think

No preset answer

Equal respect for children

Give some clues to help

From the bottom of my heart, I think it's a happy thing to think with my children

Let the child understand many things after thinking

Even if there is no answer, feel confident in the process of thinking

There is no so-called correct answer, only persuasiveness and content to determine

Parents should be people who love to think

More important than praise is the "habit of dialogue"

The principle: accept the question

Accepting children's ideas is to affirm the children's efforts to think and accept the uniqueness of their way of thinking.

Don't easily deny your child's thoughts

Don't just want to cultivate your child's thinking ability and praise your child casually

Ask a question

The most powerful question is "why", giving children a chance to rethink

Even if the child's answer is ridiculous, accept it first and then ask questions

Communication habits

Communicate with your children

Let children realize that asking others’ opinions can prompt themselves to think deeply

Anyone’s thinking has limitations. Listening to others’ opinions can expand your thinking and cognition.

Let children think that things that they can’t understand even if they think, and it is natural to discuss with others.

Abide by the rule of "not interrupting others"

Cultivate children's listening ability

Master speaking etiquette

Tell your child through your own attitude that “it’s wonderful to have different opinions”

It's not just about asking questions, "not telling the answer"

No matter how your child asks questions, parents should not give the answers easily, and do not deprive the child of the opportunity to think.

It can be applied to many scenarios other than children's questions

Ask questions and let the child think on his own

Convert commands to ask questions

Transform "please~~" into "what would happen if you don't do this~~"

Let children develop the habit of thinking first and then acting

Thinking first and then acting is an indispensable ability

Convert to language

Language expression should be clear and clear

Recommended: Exchange diaries with your children and record five things you are happy today

Express your mood in words

Clarify the reasons

Ask yourself: What should I do?

Too young children use "mood thermometer" to create a safe zone for their children and guide them to express their emotions frankly

Not to replace the child's answer

Try to create a plot when explaining difficult vocabulary

Help children understand knowledge that is half-informed and beyond their cognition

Think about "why" after all

Three steps to help think

Understand and fully understand the object of your opinion

Can you say more details?

Listen with the attitude of wanting to know the truth

No judgment, no preset, no interruption

Help your child see the whole picture

Use the "5W1H" method to describe things, that is: when, where, who, what, why, how

The ability to distinguish facts from opinions

The facts are confirmed in some form

Opinions are the judgment/way of doing things that people think about, and everyone has different opinions.

Make a preliminary opinion, know what you think, and think about the reasons

First ask: What do you think? Ask again: Why?

Reason is the key to thinking ability

Reasons determine the quality of opinions

Improve confidence

Have confidence in the opinions you put forward, but not obsessed with

Show personality

Test the sincerity

3 Questioning Tips for Children When Finding No Reasons

Ask for "opportunity"

When did you start thinking this way?

Let the child speak his memories

Comparing with some similar things

Parents should think about reasons and express them

Dig deeper reasons

Basic principles: Attribute to the factual level or opinion level

Clarify opinions, further think about whether there are other ways of thinking, and find convincing reasons

Not using a word like "but"

This will make the child feel that you have commented before overturning

4 typical questions to discover other ways of thinking

If you stand in his/her position ~~?

Think from the perspective of others

What will happen after actually doing it?

Predict the future

Is there any other reason?

Expand the breadth and depth of thinking

for example?

Find familiar and real examples

Exercise brainstorming

Finding the ability to think about other perspectives

Example: Set a topic and let children exhaust their ideas and put forward their own opinions, not judge, and accept everything

Don't get the answer, there's no need to worry

When fostering children to think, don't scold them

Scene 4: Brother/Sister is too much

step

understand

Confirm the fact: "When did you have such an idea?"

Form a preliminary opinion

"Why do you think so?"

Clarify opinions

Help your child get rid of the idea of "I suffered a loss", "Please think about what you can do alone?"

Focus

Adhering to the personality of each child, without comparison

Don't say to the older child: Because you are the elder brother/sister, you have to give in to your younger brother/sister

Teach your children to take notes: What can I do? What help did I get? Fully affirm the child

Scene 3: It's very nervous before a large event

step

understand

Confirm the truth: "What are you here to do?" "What are you worried about?"

Form a preliminary opinion

"Why nervous" find the reason

Clarify opinions

Encourage the child first, and then ask "What should I do if the progress is not going well?"

Help your child change his mind: "If you are an audience~~?

Find a better solution

Scene 2: Failed

step

understand

By sorting out "when, where, and how", let children grasp the situation of failure

Let the child think about "Why do you always encounter such a situation?" Digging deep into the reasons for failure

Think with your children what is the reason behind the reason? "Is there any other reason?"

Compared with similar things, share your own experience, treat children's feelings, and create a relaxed thinking environment

Form a preliminary opinion

"What should I do?" "Why can I solve it by doing this?" Let the child propose a solution

Clarify opinions

"Is there any other solution?" Let children think about the optimal solution through various attempts

After letting the child finish everything, parents share the experience, determine the final solution, and make steps

Continuous optimization in the future implementation process

Focus

As long as it is not a matter of hurting others, you can forgive your child's failure or mistakes and you cannot be angry

Look at failure easily, pay attention to your child seriously, and help your child find the causes and solutions to the problem from failure

Scene 1: When the child says he doesn't want to do it

step

understand

Listen to your child's "provocation" and fully understand

I saw it, I heard it, I felt it

Form a preliminary opinion

Let your child know what they think and think about the reasons

Why do this?

Clarify opinions

Think further about whether there are other ways of thinking and get a convincing answer

So what should I do?

Let the child try to convince me to see if there are any other solutions

Do you have any better suggestions? Try to convince me?

Focus

As long as the child’s opinions are reasonable, take the child’s opinions as much as possible

Dialogue skills for approaching children in troubles

Scene 8: Want to overcome things you are not good at

step

What is understanding personality?

Everyone has a unique personality and presents advantages or disadvantages on different occasions

Advantages and disadvantages are connected. Focus on the strengths of your children and believe in your own children.

Looking at the children from the perspective of grandparents, they are all cute at this time

Scene 7: Don’t want to go to school, don’t want to practice

step

Use the "5W1H" method to ask for reasons, "Why don't you want to go?"

Let the child confirm whether he has completed what he should do, "Have you talked to the other party well?", "Have you told the teacher?"

Let the child face up to his or her feelings and be aware of his or her own answers, "Can you bear it if you do this?"

Unfinished what you should do requires courage

Guide children to predict the outcome of unfinished things

Re-determine the choices your child makes and give support

"What happens if you don't do it?", "Are you happy to do this?", "Why do you need to do this?"

Focus

You must let your children make their own decisions and make timely affirmation: think, decide, and be responsible.

Scene 6: Hate Little A

step

Confirm the facts

Ask the specific fact that the child hates Xiao A, "What did Xiao A do? What did he say?"

Continue to vent your annoying emotions

Reconfirm the facts of annoying and make the child vent his annoying, but he doesn't draw a conclusion about Xiao A, "Why do you hate it?"

Pay attention to the advantages of Xiao A

Break the child's thinking pattern: Annoying people = absolute bad people, "Let's see what advantages Xiao A has?"

Help children build multi-dimensional thinking structure

Thinking and understanding things and people in multiple dimensions, expanding children's horizons

Let children learn not to draw conclusions to things and people easily, and strive to understand others and things

Scene 5: When the children quarrel

step

Understand the facts

Call all the staff to talk to understand the general process of the quarrel, "Explain what happened to me?"

Think from the other party's standpoint and resolve misunderstandings

Confirm every child to be angry, "How about it? How about it"

Change to the other party’s position and think about it, “What would you do if you were facing such a situation?”

Think about the original purpose

Thinking about the original purpose, calming your mind "But, what did you originally want to do?"

After eliminating the misunderstanding, "What should I do?"

Learn to discuss from quarrel

Taboo: Change topic

The child terminated and said: It is absolutely correct, because there is a hidden idea behind it that there is no need to listen to the other party.

Daily conversations can make children change like this

Improve comparative ability

Find out the common points between two objects, and then follow "Is this the only thing in common?" to think about it

Report important matters concisely

Let the conclusion be said at the beginning

Describe your favorite game

Explain the rules of the game

Goal: Let the other party have a rough impression of things

Express in easy-to-understand language and order

Description order: Determine the order according to the importance

Organize language from the other person's perspective

Talk about TV series or movies in depth

Predict the future direction of things

"What will happen in the end?", "Why is this happening?"

Looking for the real culprit who leads to bad results

"Why are the quarrels so fiercely?", "Is this the only reason?"

figure

"What kind of person is A and what is his personality?"

"What happened?"

"Which of all the scenes A appears, do you like the most?"

"Why did A do this?"

Fragment

"What is the most interesting clip?"

"Why do you think this is the most interesting?"

To avoid being late, reverse the time

Confirm the facts, “What must you do before going out?”

"How much time does each link take?" "How much time does it take in total?"

"When is it better to go out from home?", "When is it better to start packing things?"

"What happens if you really do this?"

Talk about dreams

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

"Why do you want to do this~~?

As for the reasons given by the child, then ask why, keep digging deeper

"What if the dream comes true?"

Guide children to predict the future, amplify the meaning of life, and improve their thinking pattern

Focus

Don't tell your child about all decisions, let the child discover and observe them by himself