The first time I participated in a competitive swim meet, I finished in the last place.

Topic Sentence: I was embarrassed at finishing last in my first competitive swim meet, so I began working on ways to improve my performance.

Detail 1: I spent extra time with my coach and the team captains learning how to improve my technique.

Detail 2: I started running and lifting weights to increase my overall fitness level.

Topic Sentence: Over time, my results began to improve and I was able to qualify for the state championship meet.

Detail 1: My technique and fitness level made me faster and able to swim longer distances.

Detail 2: I steadily got better, and I began winning or placing in the top 3 at most of my meets.

Detail 3: My results improved to the point that I was able to qualify for the state champoinship meet.

Topic Sentence: With my new confidence, techniques, and fitness level, I was able to finish 2nd at the state championship meet.

Detail 1: I was able to swim well against a higher level of competition due to my training and technique.

Detail 2: I was no longer embarrassed about my last-place finish, and was able to use it as motivation.

I used my last-place finish in my first competitive swim meet as motivation to improve my performance.