"Psychological Analysis and Redemption of Chinese Culture"

How to Become a Social Person

Don't contact me again once rejected, unless the girl actively expresses her willingness to be friends

 Can show your goodness, but you can't say that your boyfriend is bad

Pursuing in the girl’s private time, don’t take up other people’s time to spend together

Initiating a conflict is the permission to flirt, expanding a conflict is flirting

 Conflict needs to be initiated by girls, which is a sign of favorability

 If the previous events can logically lead to conflict content, the pursuer can actively initiate conflict

The theme of conflict is always people—the relationship between good people and bad people, men and women, and anyone (especially you and her)

 The law of magic interest is a language pattern, an exaggerated behavior with a sense of connection

 In the early conversation, the rules of magic interest should be used to express emotions more often. In the later stage of interaction, use the expansion of conflict to create ambiguity

 Divide your own words into two parts, partly for expressing praise or wishes, partly for balancing

 Expression, including smile and gaze, smile before the conversation, gaze during the conversation

 Language, including moderate praise, self-exposing and making requests

Body movements, including lightly tickling girls’ hair (can be praised with words)

There is a necessary condition for all these methods to be used, and there must be a response to the female sexual information.

The other party responds casually, but there are always come and go. As long as you get enough "Three-Three Rules" you can invite

The two sides have more than ten rounds of exchange in a single exchange, and the content designs life details and emotional feelings can also be invited

Student: It is said that when I have a meal with me, I have a very good weight loss effect. Let’s meet one day. Girl: You won’t go back to Hangzhou? Student: I will reply the day after tomorrow. If you want to lose weight successfully, hurry up. (Since this girl is actually very thin, I can make a joke here. If you are really fat, don’t mention losing weight.) Girl: But I don’t know you. Student: I also know it’s awkward to meet someone I’m not familiar with, but I still want to have a meal with you. Girl: Please introduce yourself first. (Because the emotions were responded well, the girl put forward specific needs. At this time, we should say more and don’t forget the feeling of the state, so that it will be interesting and unrestrained.) Student: My name is XXX , my hometown is from Hangzhou. After graduating from a master's degree, he is a software engineer. He used to work at Huawei and was very home-doned. Now he is inspiring to get out of home-doned and has changed jobs. I usually exercise when I have time and often eat and chat with my friends. The hobby is to read books and movies, and to help others. Girl: Hahahaha, the last sentence is lit up, what year did you come from? Student: I was in 1984 and was accidentally an uncle (many otaku were just a lonely number when answering such questions). Girl: It's not like it at all, I feel very young (with attention). Student: The trick is one word - sleep! Then how old are you? (Don't forget to pay attention to it at this time and let the topic continue.) Girl: My name is YYY, ××, I am from Qingdao. I work in a newspaper. I like online shopping, shopping, movies, books, and hiking. Oh, yes, and taking photos. Student: Get a small notebook and write it down. Then we will meet (vibrant and friendly). Girl: The programs in the computer brain must be very good, so you should have already remembered them. Student: Well, remember it all. I still remember we were coming to have a meal. Girl: The program is indeed good. Student: Then give the programmer some encouragement. Let's have dinner together tomorrow? Girl: It will rain tomorrow... (This is another key. Many people will regard it as a hint of rejection and then let the conversation enter a state of opposition, such as: "It doesn't matter if it rains." But if it rains Treat it as a neutral characteristic, and the effect will be better.) Student: Then let’s find a place suitable for eating on rainy days. Girl: What do you want to eat? At this time, many men will ask the girl back: "Listen to you, what do you want to eat?" But this is not the time to take care of people, but it seems awkward. It is better to express your preferences directly. At worst, the girl can also make suggestions. Student: Of course I want to eat seafood. I heard from my friend that Belle’s Jinshang Fish Mansion is good. What do you think? Girl: The best seafood is Kaihai, where Zhanshan Mountain is not delicious. Student: That's great, just go there. Then we will see you early tomorrow afternoon, have some coffee before going there, okay? (Originally based on the 9-hour effect, I suggested that the students start at noon, but this dead house actually said that they have the habit of taking naps) Girl: I will go home for dinner tomorrow night, and tomorrow the Dragon Boat Festival. Student: Then let’s have lunch, let’s go breakfast Meet (he died at this moment). Girl: Which hotel do you stay in? Student: Far Eye. Girl: Oh, where is Hong Kong Middle Road, you are not far from that restaurant. Student: Yes, when will we meet? Girl : I still think it’s strange... (Suddenly it turned cloudy again, but if you press one step at this time, it will inevitably make the girl feel that you have ulterior motives, so we decided to retreat to advance.) Student: If you really If you think it is strange, I can't force you, although I really want to eat and drink coffee with you. (The students used "but" at the beginning, but later it was modified to "severe". Please understand the color changes in it. , People's hearts are sometimes revealed through these conjunctions. ) Girl: Haha, it's too sudden. Student: It's okay, the charger was taken away by a friend, I didn't return it to me, the phone was almost out of power. I'll turn off the phone first, good night, early Son rest. Girl: Good night. (At this point, the student made a huge mistake and lost the opportunity to meet. Because he saw that the girl did not have a clear acceptance message in "Haha, it's too sudden" and thought it was rejection. Since the girl had expressed her "think strange" before, we took the initiative to give up, so if she didn't want to go to the appointment, she would follow the steps and clearly refuse, such as "why not next time." But our generousness She is interested in you again, but she cannot immediately regret and say "Okay", so she emphasizes "too sudden". If you take the initiative, the date will be successful. )

 If there is form and substance, first deny the formal level, and then view whether to accept the substantive level according to your own wishes, it can ensure that interests can create a harmonious atmosphere.

If there is no form but only substance, do not deny her exaggerated assumptions, continue to exaggerate your relationship, and then make new requirements based on the exaggerated relationship

People will unconsciously use suggestive language during communication, hoping that the other party will give a positive answer to their questions

Don't deny your own words, accept the other party's nonsensical assumptions, and shirking responsibility will be terrible

Don't defend and attack, if you have already lost 800 yourself, you will kill a thousand enemies

There is different positions, the more you cut the language, the stronger the smell of gunpowder

 You must be clear in logic, but you can keep the dialogue atmosphere by omitting steps when expressing

Extend topics at your own interests and cover yourself up

 Some provocations use the disguise of suppressing first and then promoting, accepting the promotion part, and denying the suppression part

 Many times, the words are not for the other party, but for the people around you. If you respond well, everyone is willing to believe you and go with you.

 You can go to some high-end places you usually don’t want to leave when you are on a date, and tell the girl openly: “I heard that this is very good, I have wanted to try it for a long time, but I haven’t had the chance.” The purpose of spending money is not to pretend Rich people make the time they spend together better.

 Advance to a boyfriend and girlfriend means that a girl is willing to get along with you in this way, which does not mean that she has to give everything and will not regret it. It is just that the way she gets along is more efficient

 Pursuit behavior can be divided into two categories, such as meals and gifts. One is to live equally, one party pays, but the other party will not benefit; the other is to live unequally, one party pays, and the other party will benefit

 Ask questions continuously, normal chats should be about going back and forth, unless the other party actively turns on the confidence mode

 Don’t talk about yourself, the main purpose of chatting is to understand each other

The emotions conveyed in the chat exceed your existing relationship

 The problem is that the premise of evaluation is often inconsistent with reality, and it also points to the other party, which can easily cause a self-righteous feeling; you can use objective facts to talk about subjective intentions, such as "Do you often have coffee?" than "Do you like drinking coffee?" Must be good

The evaluation will only be done when two points are met. First, you guarantee that you can say it right, and second, the other party is willing to let you say it right

 Once setbacks occur, men often lose their balance in their mentality, start to have a gambler's mentality, and take the wrong path

 It is very dangerous to find the girl’s best friend to find out the girl’s inner dynamics. If the girl knows, you will feel dark.

 Explanation means that you have agreed to the other party’s critical logic, and fighting back will make your image die together with the other party

The real rational choice is to stabilize your own demeanor, conversation, and behavior, maintain your due demeanor, and point out the problems exposed by your opponent, but never evaluate or attack, and at the same time maintain the consistency of your personality

 Sophomore 28 refers to the 80% proportion of treating meals during the pursuit process, and the 20% proportion of treating her well

 Xiao Erba refers to a girl who takes the initiative to ask for help from you, and only 80% of them can satisfy 100% of them is a good person; for you who actively discover the girl's needs, only 20% of them can satisfy it, indicating that you can take care of others.

First of all, becoming a person with a healthy personality (the fundamental problem)

 Secondly, understand the rules of relationship between men and women (method issues)

Try to find the right partner many times in the end (a problem of luck)

If you arrive in advance, turn around and tell the other party when the agreed time is reached.

If you are late, tell the other party and apologize immediately, and finally tell the other party how long to wait

The best way to confess is to charge forward physically and then follow up verbally

Body confession is a series of physical movements such as holding hands, hugging waist, and hugging. It is best not to put on your shoulders and lack romance.

 Recommended but not forcing dates to be divided by 0.618 time

Relationship confession: express your ultimate purpose of dating her (being a boyfriend or girlfriend or getting married); the woman's characteristic is that she has expectations or worries, fearing that you are not serious

Emotional confession: express your love for her; the woman has a certain sense of security and likes to listen to sweet words

Reasonable confession: express your objective view of this relationship, both positive and negative; the woman's characteristic is conflicts and contradictions, and you are attractive to her but not enough

 She is calm and has a natural attitude. You are like nothing happened, so continue to hold her hand

 She has emotional expressions and feminine thinking responses. You can express your emotions while holding hands.

 She is cold and serious, has a masculine thinking response, you should express your love, express your needs and attitudes

 She is emotionally excited and walks away angry. It is often a female mind. She can apologize for mistakes, be silent for a while, and stay silent for a while. She can ease her attempt to express emotional confession and physical confession.

 She suddenly had no expression on her face and was silent. It was often a man's mind. You need to confess your relationship and apologize, but don't admit your mistakes.

 After the other party is also involved in your relationship, the gift will become affectionate, otherwise it will be just to please or buy

The difference between caring and attention. Care is to remind people of difficulties, ending problems, and satisfy their needs; attention is to express their attention to her status as a bystander.

The prerequisites for relationships: it is a good friend or above relationship or the other party has an active feeling and expression

 Ordinary friends, whoever asks for an invitation will pay

 Good friends, small expenses can help you pay for the bill, large expenses can express your attention

With a couple relationship, your income is higher than the other party and the other party is willing

People usually pay for the order when they meet a woman who grabs the order, because the other party treats us very well; when the woman who meets the AA, they agree because the other party does not want to owe us

Boys will regard sending flowers as expressing sincerity, and girls will understand sending flowers as confirming relationships

The key points of sending flowers: Before confessing, the atmosphere is relatively relaxed and pleasant, and burned after reading

 Ask at noon, if you don’t make an appointment to buy a gift, you will pick up your hands and sneak attack your little face when you leave. Don’t send text messages when you go home and don’t mention it on your own initiative

 The first principle is to recognize the other party’s assumption, even if this assumption is unreasonable, because you can only be generous if you do not involve the acceptance of substantial interests.

 The second principle continues to exaggerate according to the other party’s assumptions until you find your own point of interest. Exaggeration is to leverage your strength to fight.

 The second principle is changed to parallel or downward during serious dialogue to protect one's own interests

Don't waste your energy and time on figuring out the other person's motives

 Secondly, when encountering the other party’s special response, don’t rush to reply. Keep listening and figure out what the other party wants to convey.

 Never break up first

Don’t talk bad about love rivals, because girls often have a rebellious mentality

 Express your concern for her rather than blame

Don’t ask her how to choose next, your question will become her courage to make a choice

 Trying to think about the other party through the Internet all day long, but usually you don’t get the opportunity to communicate normally

Doing something meaningless for a few hours a day will make people feel less and less charming, because this behavior will inevitably affect the mentality and appear from the details of communication

 Interaction is best in time, eating cold rice is not very meaningful

 In the unfamiliar stage, comments are also related, 1-2 times a week is enough

True content rather than attitude, so comment less like

The girl's reply will interact under the circle of friends, don't cut to private chat

Don’t care about the men in your circle of friends, the real opponent is invisible

A person’s performance on social platforms does not mean his true self

It's too cold in the morning of winter, and the roommate doesn't want to get up, and then he complains to you, "I want to sleep in but not to go to work." What would you say at this time? 1. If you don’t want to go to work, don’t go to work, just quit. 2. How can you earn money to support yourself if you don’t go to work? 3. What's the use of telling me? I'm not your boss. 4. I am more sleepy and less willing to go to work than you. 5. You slept too late and go to bed early next time. 6. Your situation reminds me of myself three years ago... 7. It is really hard to get up early every day. 8. Then let’s have enough sleep together. When you wake up, we will go and grab the bank...

1 and 5 belong to problem solving, 2 belong to reasoning, and 3 belong to negation, both lack emotional resonance

4 is a comparison, it is a suppression of the confidant

6 is a transfer, just focus on expressing oneself

7 Although it is empathy, communication between the two parties tends to be one-way attention, which is suitable for the expression of consultants.

8 is more appropriate. First of all, do not recognize the other person's emotions through evaluation. If you want to further release your emotions, you can exaggerate and extend it to absurd expression.

In psychological counseling, the other party’s negative emotions cause great trouble to their lives, so they need to be careful; while in daily communication, the other party just wants to release emotions, and the release effect of making jokes will be better

 Use rational (male) thinking when making decisions, and emotional (female) thinking when making decisions

Breaking ice is not about the topic, but about safety

 As long as it is based on security, it can be used as the starting point of chat. The key is how to expand and extend it

 Primary ice breaking is not embarrassing and speechless, advanced ice breaking is something that is really interesting to communicate

Status feeling switching method: choose a security topic, start with a judgment, express the state (phenomenon or behavior) and feelings (emotion or judgment), and then actively guide the other party to join, if not join, repeat from the expression state

 A woman’s sense of security not only helps her solve problems, but also needs to be well aware of her feelings and needs

 From a rational point of view, I know my shortcomings I can give up

 From the feeling, I am attracted by you and willing to live in the present

As for choosing rationality or feeling, if you decide or if you decide it, I accept it

 Confession can be divided by five points: "stance, cognition, state, feeling, and request". Among them, "stance, cognition, and request" belongs to male thinking, and "state, feeling" belongs to female thinking. Although yin and yang need to be balanced, rational Men should think a little more when confessing.

I met a girl and confessed to her, but she rejected me. What should I do?

Step 1 - Write down your question. I met a girl and confessed to her, but she rejected me. What should I do? Step 2 - bracket the person in the question. I met a girl and confessed to her. She rejected me. What should I do? Step 3 - Converge the person in brackets. A girl met me and confessed to me. I rejected her. What should she do? Step 4 - Remove the brackets and read them through three times. A girl met me and confessed to me. I rejected her. What should she do? Step 5 – Write down your intuitive answer. A. I hope she can do it herself... B. Do whatever she likes, it has nothing to do with me... C. As long as she doesn't commit suicide, it has nothing to do with me... D. Unless she Becoming another person... No, becoming another person, I may not necessarily like her... E. Touching me? Nonsense, do you think life is a TV series... F.*…*(…%(*&)&)()*——%…&%￥…&%Set the person in the brackets.

When the other party is unwilling to reveal his or her thoughts or feelings, he or she can tell his or her subjective judgment by letting him or her describe objective facts.

Simply describing objective facts cannot grasp the key points, but people will focus on the part of the facts they care about

Send WeChat to explain and apologize, first get colder, contact us in a few days, buy a gift on Taobao and express delivery, but you are all avoiding solving the problem in person

 The key to apologizing must not be just admitting mistakes. Saying sorry will only make the girl angry from the heart. The correct way is to make her believe that you have empathized with her grievances. On this basis, wait until the girl's emotions ease up. Follow up on two points: After admitting mistakes, guarantee

Behavior chat method: Tell the other person’s impact on your behavior, which will help open up the topic and build a sense of connection

The communication between people is divided into three stages: attitude (expressed to the other person’s state), emotions (real emotional reactions at the moment), thoughts (my cognition and behavior)