Differences in life often result from people's different perspectives on life. "Copy" and "Convert" will see a different world

Make something that can be copied, like a book Conversion is to convert physical strength and time into means of living, such as working

The biggest difference between "conversion" and "copy" is the difference in marginal cost - the marginal cost of "conversion" is getting higher and higher, and the marginal cost of "copying" is getting lower and lower

Learn to create copy skills

To obtain unlimited possibilities, "copy" and "value" are indispensable, and the higher the value, the greater the possibility

This is also the reason why we must continue to learn "new knowledge", because "new knowledge" is always an effective weight to increase value.

Be willing and willing to invest a lot of resources in learning new knowledge.

Happiness is a sense of contribution

The result of altruism is self-interest

Another reason why people are unwilling to practice the concept of altruism is that they mistake sacrifice and ingratiation for altruism.

The correct way to be altruistic is not to give without reason, but to strive to become a valuable person. We need to influence and serve others through our own abilities or values, rather than trying to please or control others with certain conditions.

They think that by giving everything they have, they can move the other person and make the other person treat them the same way.

When you only have the emotional card of "giving" in your hand, you can only overdraw yourself unilaterally, and the consequence of overdrawing yourself is that you will lose your attractiveness.

Because all social interactions are like a mirror. How the outside world gives you feedback depends on your long-term comprehensive performance.

Before marrying someone else, you might as well "marry" yourself first.

Do you like how you look on the outside? Do you like what you say and do? Do you like your abilities and ambition? Do you like your pursuit of the future? If you are not satisfied with yourself, don't expect others to respect and like you.

Give as much as you need when it's time to give, be brave enough to ask when it's time to ask, and don't forget to take a long-term view and make yourself truly a "valuable, influenceable, and attractive" person.

The best way to get something is to make yourself worthy of it.

The first level: environment.

Level 2: Behavior

The third level: ability

Level 4: Beliefs and Values

Level 5: Self-awareness

Level 6: Mission

Once we have a clear picture of the big picture, we can become "free". When we encounter problems, we can take the initiative to give up emotional complaints, work hard, find methods, make choices, build identity, and clarify meaning.

Therefore, the most important thing for an individual is to find the goal and meaning of life and figure out what kind of person he should be.

Read for half an hour a day or one book a week. They think that as long as they do this, they can develop a reading habit. In fact, they just focus on the most superficial "results" and act. The end result is often doing it for the sake of doing it and letting nothing go.

Only a very few people can see the level of "identity" and take the initiative to start with psychological construction. They spend a lot of time thinking about: What kind of person do I want to become through reading?

Therefore, those who can clarify their identity are the real masters. They are willing to spend time on psychological construction and can change themselves from top to bottom or from the inside out.

Of course, those who start from the "result" level may eventually achieve that thing, but they will still unconsciously reshape their "identity"

From the beginning, we should face up to our own psychological construction, our own identity construction, and put subconscious psychological transformation on the table. After all, in real life, even if you don’t tell yourself what kind of person you should be, you still have a default identity in your heart.

"Psychological construction" and "attitude selection" are essentially metacognitive abilities that help us break free from the constraints of the environment.

Therefore, there is no contradiction between firming up your beliefs and lowering your expectations, because firming up your beliefs means making the best preparations, while lowering your expectations means preparing for the worst. Their purpose is the same: to push themselves to act better and ultimately produce good results

But don’t forget that the subconscious way of learning is through constant repetition

It is not just language that affects our thinking and attitudes. Other external manifestations also have an impact on the internal state.

Our behavior (including movements, expressions, postures, language, etc.) and thinking affect each other

This is because people only see its sharpness in solving problems, but in fact, rational thinking is a double-edged sword. It also has the other side of self-limitation such as bias, concerns, and worries.

Metacognition controls it

For example, in the planning stage, he will repeatedly and carefully consider the specific methods to realize his wish, and simulate and rehearse the process of realizing his wish in his mind. He will not give up until he "sees" the result.

Replace the limiting side with an open side, making optimism, openness, focusing on the present, and enjoying the process become another kind of sharpness, so no matter how he swings, he will not hurt himself.

Fortunately or unfortunately, you will adapt slowly

The human triple brain is like a problem finder and an emotion worry maker, not a highlight finder and a happiness sensor. We are born troublemakers - another part of human nature

However, there are always some people who can intentionally or unintentionally break out of the norm and live happier lives. The methods they use are not new. They simply use the common rules that all emotional masters follow: make good use of different perspectives to see problems - since genes And instinct makes us unconsciously pay attention to bad things. It is better to focus on good things.

Record all the successful things you do every day, any small things will do. Write at least 5 items every day, and name this book "Success Diary"

But it is a powerful tool to hedge against human beings' "negative preferences", because it can help us proactively discover the highlights of ourselves and our lives, and make up for the natural defects of our brains.

When we encounter troubles, we can imagine staying away. According to the principle of small in the distance and large in the near, no matter how big the trouble is, it seems to be nothing in the distance, and no matter how small the happiness is, it will turn into great happiness in front of you.

Whether they are facing huge external pressure or are in their comfort zone, they will deliberately maintain "moderate discomfort."

The secret to reducing stress is to try not to set too many goals at the same time, proactively lower your expectations, and not be eager to see results.

The main reason why most people fail to quit smoking is that they do not know the true mechanism of addiction and have to rely on willpower to quit smoking.

Only when a person thoroughly understands the ins and outs of smoking addiction and sees the essence of smoking clearly will he feel from the bottom of his heart that smoking is a very uneconomical thing and can he quit smoking easily without relying on willpower.

Because when we thoroughly see the benefits of doing something through the principle mechanism, we will feel that not doing it is a loss.

Knowing the principle and mechanism, we will naturally have a specific methodology, which will truly enhance our confidence in doing this. Therefore, it becomes natural to act, continue to act, and become a long-termist. .

“We are all willing to engage in things that we think are valuable and meaningful, because motivation is the ultimate driving force for learning activities and the first step to mastering any skill. The best way to obtain a unique sense of value and meaning is to take the initiative. Describe the relationship between the goal and yourself, in other words, adjust the perspective of looking at things and see the long-term significance of this matter

A person's achievements are often within his or her vision. How far a person can go in the real world has actually been marked in his heart.

Searching for meaning is training our subconscious mind to stay ahead of our abilities and pull us forward, rather than hiding in our comfort zone and holding us back.

Yes, under the power of time, mechanisms will become weak, meaning will become blurred, and repetition day after day will inevitably make us fall into a "routine" situation.

We should learn to change our perspective and actively focus on the gains: every time we get up early, we can let ourselves enjoy the peaceful world again Find the benefits of doing it

These benefits are not imaginary, they are real.

If our goal is to develop a skill, the best way to feel the benefits is to continuously use this skill to produce work, polish the work, and then receive positive feedback.

Although the process of creation may feel a little difficult for you, the positive feedback you get in the end will make you enjoy it on the road to improvement.

To see the mechanism clearly and find meaning is to make ourselves optimistic in the long term; in the short term, we need to continue to expand at the edge of the comfort zone, which will inevitably make people pessimistic and painful; but as long as we learn to change our perspectives and exchange feedback, we can always feel the benefits. Keep yourself happy in the moment - this is the best life model for a long-termist.

See the mechanism clearly to prevent blind efforts; find meaning and inject long-term motivation; feel the benefits and experience the pleasure of the moment.

With such guidance, we will continue to learn, continue to think, continue to act, and continue to perceive. At the same time, we will inevitably direct our goals to those small, long-term goals with real value.

First of all, let me clarify that the "write down" mentioned here refers to "write down the thoughts"

When she couldn't digest her emotions, she would write down her true thoughts with a pen and write down what she was sad about.

Why does "writing it down" have such a magical effect? Because when emotions arise, reason takes a back seat.

Writing about the negative events we are currently facing can mobilize more rational resources to help us organize our thoughts, so that the priority of processing emotional thinking is temporarily secondary. At the same time, the act of writing can activate the language area and writing area of ​​the cerebral cortex. It allows us to have a more specific and clear understanding of the negative events we are currently experiencing, so writing can buffer negative emotions to a certain extent and help people slowly regain their sanity or rationality.

write down. No matter what the scene is, if you can't calm down and do something, then sit down and write down what's in your mind. Write whatever comes to mind. Write continuously for 5 minutes, and you'll be able to concentrate.

Because the real power of action is not willpower, but clarity

By writing down a specific schedule and binding ourselves to specific events within a specific time, we don't have to use our brains to make choices along the way.

Once people make a commitment, their subconscious mind tends to be consistent, so this habit of writing it down will greatly improve your ability to take action.

What really matters is finding your purpose in life.

When we find something we are willing to do without thinking about tea or food, our lives will have the attributes of peace, focus, and efficiency.

If you cannot find the target, you must first assume the closest target.

It doesn't matter whether the goal is correct, as long as it is the closest at present, it can help us take action first, and then lead us to the next closer goal until the real goal appears.

The main reason for obstruction is often that there is a lot of ambiguity and uncertainty about what we are doing

But difficult times are opportunities for progress. If someone dares to look directly at the ambiguity at this time and dare to make the greatest "hypothesis" within the scope of his or her brain about the uncertainty, then he will be able to break through the encirclement with a greater probability and gain more advantages in life.

Readers first suggest a possible cause or solution to their problem.

The key is not right or wrong, but that you have to have an "idea" first. As long as we can make a hypothesis based on all the current knowledge and available information, we won't be stuck where we are and can move forward. More new information will inevitably emerge slowly in subsequent actions, so we have the possibility of rapid progress.

Even if it's not necessarily correct, even if you don't have to say it, you have to have one.

It can be seen that assumptions can eliminate ambiguity and allow you to think more deeply; assumptions can remove obstacles and allow you to take action one step forward. Frequent hypothetical exercises can improve your analysis, judgment, and problem-solving abilities, thereby improving your ability to control your life and even create a happy life.

All our opinions and conclusions are essentially assumptions. The quality of our opinions and conclusions depends on the degree to which our assumptions are consistent with the facts

We must have the awareness to dare to assume, whether it is right or wrong, we must practice it first. It doesn't matter if the assumption is wrong. As long as we summarize more, revise more, keep an open mind, and always support ourselves with the latest and most reliable reasons and evidence, we can constantly innovate our assumptions and make our attitudes and opinions more and more comprehensive. Close to the truth.

Once we make a hypothesis, how do we know whether it is correct? The answer is simple: look at the actual results

As long as there is one point in the book that touches you and makes a real change in your life, this reading is effective and this book is worth it.

Reality always seems to remind us not to overestimate our abilities, telling us that there are actually very few things we can learn and very few things we can do. When reality gives us the same feedback again and again, we should calm down and pay attention. this fact

The nature of eagerness for success is at work, so a sober person should be honest about the actual results, accept the reality of small progress every time, and accept the reality of clumsy early stages of action. Real progress will only come if you begin to accept reality.

It turns out that this is how we accomplished one thing in the first place: when facing a brand-new field, we could move forward cheerfully without any anxiety, fear, or discouragement, and finally succeeded.

As we grow up, we always encounter anxiety and failure when learning a new skill or entering a new field. Because we always want too much, are eager for success, and are afraid of being laughed at. When we are hit, we feel that we must not be able to do well, so we stop after taking a few steps.

Therefore, they have a strong desire to learn and are willing to continue practicing; and because there are not many real rigid needs, their goals are also very focused.

Because children are ignorant and do not know what fear and fear are, they do not care about the setbacks and failures in progress, nor do they care about the opinions and evaluations of others, nor do they require themselves to master it in a short period of time. They only focused on their current progress and joy, and with the blessing of time, they finally mastered new skills such as walking and talking.

Most of our troubles as we grow up come from having too high expectations for ourselves and others.

As far as "quantity" is concerned, many people want a lot at the same time, which makes them uneasy and unable to focus on work or study. For example, many readers have this problem.

The purpose of proactively reducing desires and lowering expectations is to allow ourselves to throw away our mental baggage and travel lightly. After all, anxiety will only make us stagnate.

In terms of "difficulty"

As long as I can proactively lower my expectations when encountering difficulties, allow myself to do one thing well at a time, allow myself to make slow progress at the beginning, or even fail repeatedly.

I also realized that the so-called patience or good temper often means lowering expectations appropriately.

This practice of proactively minimizing one's psychological expectations is actually the active use of "psychological anchoring" - happiness depends on who you anchor to.

I was sure that this was the fundamental reason why I had not made significant progress, so I immediately decided to create a "progress book" and write down every learning gain.

He confirmed the fact that the complete operation of the progress book is an effective way to progress quickly. If the mistakes you have made are still made next time, and the questions you have done are still wrong next time, it means that this is not learning at all, or it is extremely inefficient learning. On the contrary, the bottom line of learning is to ensure that the wrong questions will not be repeated again and that once you understand them, you will not forget them.

They all treat knowledge as skills to practice, and only pay attention to the little details that they can really grasp.

Because there are mirror neurons in the human brain, they allow us to unconsciously imitate the people and things around us.

The allusion of Meng’s mother’s three moves has long told us that moving to a better environment is the best way to take advantage of “laziness”.

The closer we are to our own little environment, the greater our chances of being able to take control.

If you want to take the initiative in a small environment, the first test is your awareness.

What we see and hear influences our next choice, which in turn shapes the next environment.

Those who seem to have strong self-control are not really more self-disciplined than ordinary people, but because they try to avoid being in environments full of temptations-this is the real "secret" for them to maintain self-discipline.

Our current thoughts create the next environment, and the next environment in turn affects our thoughts. Environment and thoughts reinforce and shape each other.

Real learning not only involves the dimension of thinking, but also includes all sensory dimensions such as vision, hearing, taste, smell, touch, etc.

Knowledge and wisdom are not the same thing, wisdom is practice.

The better the learning effect, because one of the secrets of learning is to mobilize multi-dimensional senses at the same time.

Because knowledge on paper is one-dimensional, while cognition through practice is multi-dimensional. Therefore, in the process of human growth, in addition to reading, it is more important to apply practice and apply it in the world!

Because during sexual activities, all human senses such as vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are activated at the same time. This combined pleasure will prompt individuals to actively pursue reproduction.

Develop a skill that is useful to yourself and others

If you still can’t figure out what you should do, then think about your most pressing problems or pain points at the moment, because needs are always the best traction.

When we directly solve real-life problems, we can get the most timely feedback, and this feedback often becomes an important clue for us to discover our life goals.

Forced by pain, we work hard to change ourselves, but those who go further in the end are definitely not those who stop after the pain disappears. People who go far will definitely take the initiative to change their power sources and enjoy inner joy. Continue to move forward with your blessing.

There are two types of human drives: avoiding pain and pursuing happiness.

The real goal in life is often not found at the beginning. It usually requires us to go through a process of trial and error.

trial

But since I extended my psychological scale to 7 years, all the anxiety and impatience suddenly disappeared. I suddenly felt that I had plenty of time and I was not anxious at all.

I began to be able to calm down and read every book. I no longer pursued quantity or speed, but used "change" as the standard to measure my learning results. On the contrary, there was a significant change; I began to try to output and try my best. Use your own language to reconnect and explain the knowledge you have learned, and as a result, you inadvertently have the ability to write in-depth long articles.

The second is that it allows people to focus on goals and have real results.

Third, it enables people to continue learning and grow throughout their lives.

So don’t make strategic misjudgments when it’s still very early. This will really make you miss your ideal life.

No matter the goal, cycle or method, in the end they all point to the same place - to produce deep value, that is, to set productive goals, remain patient to accumulate value, and polish value at the edge of the comfort zone. In this way, we have the opportunity to participate in value exchange