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Inferiority and Transcendence
A book based on individual psychology, written by Alfred Adler, the founder of individual psychology. This book is very valuable in terms of personal growth, children's education, crime prevention, and psychotherapy. It is different from the theory of cause and effect. "Inferiority and Transcendence" is a developing individual psychology. It is a good book that gives people hope and has guiding significance!
Edited at 2024-10-23 15:12:32
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- Outline
Inferiority and Transcendence
1. meaning of life
Three major issues that must be considered
Living environment (career issues)
Relationships with others (peer issues)
Gender relations (gender issues)
individual interpretation
correct
The meaning that can be shared is meaningful to everyone
care about others
care about cooperation
useful to others
Wrong
Neurosis, psychosis, criminal, alcoholic, problem child, suicide, sexual perversion, prostitute
no social interest
No confidence in cooperation
Only yourself (false sense of personal superiority)
Successful victory is meaningful to yourself
correct errors
Reproduce the situation when the error occurred
The environment does not determine the meaning, we decide what meaning we interpret from it
physically defective
Overcome obstacles and develop exceptional talents
pampered
passive strike
open confrontation
Show weakness to control
show strength in revenge
self-centered
Being left out
Overestimating obstacles and belittling oneself
doubt others
can't believe myself
Unable to change the way they cope with problems on their own and need care and help
When we understand the meaning a person gives to life, we find the key to that person's entire personality.
Cultivate them to learn to cooperate and face life more bravely
dreams and memories
It is the meaning a person gives to life
Memories of early childhood life
Indicates how long an individual's unique interpretation of life has persisted
Provide the background for the earliest determination of life attitudes
Contains the basic positioning of oneself
The starting point of spiritual growth, the beginning of autobiography
You can find deficiencies or flaws in self-perception, the ideal strong and safe self, and the gap between the two.
Authenticity is not important, what is important is the impact this interpretation has or will have on existing and future life
2. mind and body
Body
Constrained motion displacement
Constraints on the mind, self-limitation on the body
Interpretation of the meaning of life
mood
Depends on the end point and the life style that is suitable for the end point
Sometimes it is a tool to control others
It is the medium through which the mind activates physiological states.
Spirit
Determine the direction of movement
How you control your body: determines the end point of your movement
The overall endpoint: gaining a sense of security
Only children who want to contribute something to the whole, rather than focusing only on themselves, successfully develop compensation for their deficiencies.
1. Grow together, promote each other, coordinate and unify 2. The entire process of development and formation of the body is affected by the mind and reflects the errors or defects of the mind. 3. Life style and corresponding emotional temperament will always affect the development of the body 4. Emotional patterns are inevitable expressions of individual life style. Only by changing life style can emotions be fundamentally eliminated.
3. Inferiority and superiority
Inferiority
Not learning how to become stronger and more capable, but learning how to feel powerful
arrogant
Always ignored, showing one's own importance with arrogance
Exaggerated gestures
Worry that if you don’t emphasize it, your words will have no power.
act superior to others
Trying to hide the feeling of humility
inferiority complex
definition
Because the collective is ill-prepared or unable to cope, they are convinced of symptoms that they cannot solve in the face of the problem.
as a result of
It will cause pressure and produce compensatory behavior in the direction of superiority, but the behavior is no longer directed towards solving the problem, so the behavior to gain a sense of superiority goes to the side that has no meaning in life, and the real problem is ignored or eliminated
Performance
anger
tears
Apologize
Control others in this way to show your own sense of superiority
limit one's behavior
Focus on avoiding failure rather than striving for success
Hesitation, stagnation, and retreat in the face of difficulties
fear
suicide
reflects condemnation or revenge
strive for superiority
reason
The goals they set for themselves are too high
Not cooperative
subject to environment
Towards pessimism
Solution
change actual goals
When goals change, habits and attitudes will change.
What is the direct goal of finding a symptom, and what is its relationship with the superior overall goal?
Understand that what they desire is superiority
Only by aiming high and altruistic can we truly deal with and control life's problems. Our collaboration requires many different kinds of excellence
4. early memory
significance
Provides the origin and most straightforward expression of life style
Discover the relationship between childhood and mother, father and other family members
important clues
The earliest thing he can remember
the way he started speaking
Analysis direction
Learning to cooperate or resist interaction
Brave or timid?
Do you want to be supported and taken care of, or do you want to be independent?
Are you ready to give or do you just want to get?
Case analysis
visual impairment
visual impression
Inability to move, longing to be able to walk, run, and jump
Memories are related to interests
Not ready for cooperation and think there is no fundamental meaning in discussing this
No answer
deeply affected person
Will take the initiative to mention it in my memories
jealous behavior
hours affected by competition
Determined to be a doctor
Hours are greatly affected by death, health and other related events
visual person
Often describe the situations, colors, and shapes they saw in their memories
dissatisfied with mother
There are brothers and sisters, and the mother is partial to others
The protagonist of the memory is my father
Wrong education method, being forced to speak
Stuttering or speech impediment
Always want to surpass the person in front
Second son or youngest son is common
Not well adapted to society
People who only remember family
Actively and bravely work hard to improve your own situation, always looking for ways to improve your life.
There will be some memory fragments in the memory that explain the current results, which embodies the ability to correct mistakes when they are known.
strange behavior
bedwetting
specific behavior in specific situations
Stomachache
Aphasia
Headache
There will be people in his memory who paid attention to him because of this behavior
pampered
Trying to put the blame on others
untidy child
There are people behind to pack things for him
Afraid of the dark, doesn’t like to be alone
There is someone who pays attention to him and comforts him
resist marriage
Parents' marriage is unhappy
against father
Suppressed by father
frame others
Bring others down to your own level
Do you want to make someone in your family feel guilty?
Harm to pregnant women
He doesn’t like being pregnant. He is unhappy when a baby is born at home.
causing trouble at school
Seeking attention and feeling like I’m not loved enough
Always saying how uncomfortable I am
I saw who in the family got more attention because of this issue.
career guidance
Memories are observers
Interested in observation
Observation related work
Memories related to death and health
To compensate for the fear of losing life
medical work
help
admit that he is right
Analyze the reasons for his behavior
face the truth
Make him no longer want to continue his original style
Encourage participation in cooperation and find meaningful ways to live
5. How to interpret dreams
Freudian
Applicable to the entire psychological development of pampered children
The activities of the mind during the day are different from those at night. "Consciousness" and "unconsciousness" are in opposition to each other. Dreams are set with special rules that are completely opposite to daily thinking.
sexual context
Uncovering the Subconscious Death Desire
The dream itself is not important, what is important is the idea hidden in the dream
Satisfy an individual's unfulfilled wishes
Dreams are full of symbols and metaphors
individual psychology school
purpose of dream
Tools and ways to arouse emotions and leave behind their feelings; support and affirm your own life style and brew feelings that are compatible with it. Resist the censure of reason.
cause of dream
When we are not sure whether we can solve a problem, we only dream when real problems invade and prevent us from letting go even when we fall asleep.
dream mission
Meet the challenges we face and provide solutions
Characteristics of dreams
The purpose of individual dreaming is to find direction for the future and explore ways to solve problems.
Dreams must be the product, support and helper of life style
People who don't like to be fooled by their feelings and prefer to engage in scientific reasoning dream less often
Dreams are self-narcissism and self-hypnosis
Dreams are the bridge between real problems and life style
subtopic
Dream Interpretation
Dreaming about flying leaves you with optimistic and brave emotions after waking up
There is a smooth road ahead
The dreamer is a brave, forward-looking and ambitious person
dream about whereabouts
The human psyche is more concerned with self-preservation and fear of failure than trying to overcome obstacles.
I often dream that I can’t move or miss the bus.
I would be happy if the problem went away without me having to do anything. I have to be unable to walk, I have to be late, I have to miss the bus, so I don’t have to face the problem head on.
dream about exam
You're not ready to face the problem at hand
You passed this test before, you will definitely pass the current test
Pay attention to the emotions left behind by the dream, and keep the dream consistent with your life style as a whole
Dream about attacking others
want to conquer others
dream about someone
pampered child
Dream about losing wallet
The feeling of loss remains, which shows that he is afraid of losing, is afraid of losing the right to control others, and has a strong desire to control.
focus in dreams
Points of concern in real life
Treatment
Aims to improve individuals’ courage to face problems
6. The influence of the original family
importance of mother
Motherhood is a kind of strength, and technology is not mysterious. All technologies are the result of long-term interest and learning.
good mothering techniques
If mothers have skills, their daughters will definitely learn to be good mothers. What they learn is that they want to be mothers, feel that being a mother is a great thing, and will not be disappointed when they face roles as adults.
If a woman really regards housekeeping as a career that she not only enjoys but can also enrich and brighten the life of the whole family through this career, she will regard housewifery as a profession that is no less important than any profession in the world.
bad mothering techniques
In a family that values sons over daughters, girls will naturally hate being mothers in the future. Such daughters will always express resistance in some form when faced with marriage or childbirth issues.
The life goals of a mother who is dissatisfied with her female role will prevent her from establishing a healthy connection with her children. Her goals are not those of a mother. What she cares about most is often proving her superiority. The child can only distract his energy and destroy this goal
how to be a good mother
1. Don’t overemphasize the relationship with your children
A mother not only plays one role, but also has many other connections. The relationship between her and her children cannot be overemphasized. This is both for the good of the children and for herself.
2. Interest expansion
After establishing a connection with the child, then extend the child's interest to the father
Direct children's interests to the surrounding social life
Let the child only pay attention to the mother
1. Will resent in the future any attempt to prompt him to care for others
2. Always looking for mother’s support, feeling that everyone who shares mother’s care is an opponent and an enemy
3. Problems may arise when entering a new environment
Weak character
sentimental
Hope others will be considerate
I cry when I encounter a problem
will get sick
Show how much you need to be taken care of
loose the temper
Disobedient
against mother
for attention
Children's behavior and personality
There is no reason for the development of character, it is just that children interpret experiences as reasons to serve their own goals.
A child's behavior is not determined by his experiences, but by the conclusions he draws.
Behavior of pampered children
Afraid of being alone, especially afraid of the dark
hate being separated from mother
Screaming, shouting, insomnia, annoying people
All the emotions, strength and thoughts are to prepare for the next time his mother comes to be close to him
timidity, phobia
Having nightmares and crying in sleep
The quilt is uncomfortable and I feel thirsty at night
Fear of thieves or wild beasts
Frequently falls out of bed or wets the bed
often sick
After recovering from illness, he gets into trouble
attract attention
Many adults often like to talk about their medical history or surgeries they have had.
Father's position in the family
Must prove that he is a good friend to his wife, his children, everyone.
Cooperate equally with your wife to care for and protect the family
Fathers have a very important influence on their children, so many children regard their fathers as their idols or their biggest enemies throughout their lives.
Punishment, especially corporal punishment, is certainly harmful to children. Any such method is not education, but showing prestige
Mother can't do it
Give fathers the power to punish their children
Wait until dad comes back
Be careful what I tell your dad
result
Let children feel that men are really powerful
Destroy the relationship between father and son and make the children fear their father instead of seeing him as a good teacher and helpful friend.
How to be a good father
Three major issues in balancing life (career, friendship, love)
Knowing that the family is a unit of humanistic society and that there are trustworthy people and people outside the family is extremely valuable for the development of children.
You must have a skill to support your family and solve work problems.
As a husband, care for your wife
Don’t be too affectionate in front of your children, as it will make them jealous
His advice should be like that between friends, avoiding confrontation
accepted
Happy
be contradicted
You should not insist on your own opinions or even use authority
Money should not be overemphasized
Cooperation between brothers and sisters
equality
If we are not equal to each other, we will not have good social emotions.
Sons and daughters feel equal, otherwise the relationship between the two will continue to encounter the most serious challenges
If your parents are very successful in their careers, you should be careful at home and don’t stress, otherwise your children’s development will be hindered.
Children who are not favored will suffer from emotional hunger and constantly pursue superiority, but their pursuit will turn to other directions that are less realistic and have no social value.
The eldest son will have a sense of deprivation, which may lead to problem children, neurosis, criminals, alcoholics, and sexual perversions.
rebel against mother
Mother fights back
The child is irritable, irritable, picky, and unruly. He begins to care about his father and becomes closer to him.
long struggle, resistance
keep fighting
No one gives him all the attention,
Pessimistic, moody, introverted, unable to interact with others, withdrawn
emotional expression
Nostalgia and no optimism about the future
Understands the importance of power and status better than others. When he grows up, he likes to exercise authority and exaggerates the importance of rules. Everything must be done according to the rules. The rules must not be changed. He has a strong tendency towards conservatism.
If you gain status, you will always suspect that someone below is coming up to seize the position and usurp power.
Solution
Cooperate with the church before a sibling is born
Desire to protect and help others, strong organizational skills
dream
fall
I stand quite tall, but I’m not sure if I can stand this tall forever.
second son
Features
Knows a little more about cooperation than the boss
The humanities circle is larger
There is always someone in front of him motivating him to catch up
Always learning to surpass and defeat someone
More talented than the eldest son and often more successful
dream
Racing, driving, being in a hurry in dreams
The eldest is a boy and the second is a girl
result
The older brother will be deeply ashamed, become lazy, timid, brag, and lie.
My sister calmly solved her own problems and made rapid progress
Solution
The whole family cooperates equally
youngest son
pampered child
Many opportunities for competition, extraordinary development, surpassing all other children
Unable to be independent and lack the courage to succeed through own efforts
The most ambitious, but also lazy
The most inferior
only son
Features
Oedipus complex
Like people older than yourself
Afraid of having younger siblings
Solution
Your mother cooperated in getting him interested in both parents.
Boys surrounded by women
Features
Feel like you are different from others and will become withdrawn when you grow up
Become more feminine, your tastes will become more feminine, and your outlook on life will become more feminine.
Emphasizing that you are different and superior, you will always have psychological conflicts, develop to extremes, and become particularly strong or extremely weak
Solution
Join a larger life circle
Girls surrounded by men
Features
Too feminine or masculine
A life often plagued by feelings of insecurity and helplessness
7. school impact
universal educational philosophy
Children must be taught to think independently, to be familiar with literature, art, and science, and to participate in and contribute to the entire human culture when they grow up. The person you want is an equal, independent, and responsible collaborator in a common humanistic undertaking.
child's performance
Admission performance
The child doesn’t like to listen to the class, cries, and wants to go home
Pay too much attention to yourself
Thinks everyone is mocking him
Too much emphasis on the need to maintain one's dignity
It is difficult to get along with teachers and classmates
Can't criticize or accuse
Different life styles and types
Forgot to do homework or lost textbooks
don't like studying
Find out why he doesn't like it
Not playing with other children
Feeling lonely and focusing only on yourself
Always want others to help with homework
Lack of independence and wants to be supported by others
pampered children
Get the teacher's attention and study well
Unable to continue without being looked at differently, interest stops
Encountering great challenges and obstacles in mathematics, they only need to memorize some theorems or sentences, and they will remember well. Once they are asked to solve problems by themselves, they will be at a loss.
When he grows up, he will always need and demand support from others. When he encounters a problem, his reaction pattern is to force others to solve it for him, which will always drag others down.
If you don't get attention, you will play pranks. If you are punished, you will become taller. If you are punished, you will laugh instead of cry.
Lazy children are ambitious but afraid of failure. They think that if they are not first, they will fail. They avoid problems and procrastinate. They believe that "once you do it, you will succeed." They live in the expectations of others and rely on others to push them.
King of Kids
I only care about the circumstances under which I can control and dominate others, and only under such circumstances will I get along with others.
The future is not very bright and I always want to suppress others.
Solution
The teacher's responsibility is to notice the child's obstacles and correct the parents' mistakes
Teachers help children cope with new environments and make children interested in teachers and school activities.
Teachers should be completely like a mother and have a heart-to-heart relationship with their children
Understand what your child likes, let your child know that he can succeed in this interest and other aspects, and let him gain confidence
Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude
visual
Prefer subjects that use your eyes, such as geography and drawing
purpose of education
Wrong
Teach your kids how to win
Push forward and defeat others
Fall behind and give up efforts
Only care about yourself, no longer aim at dedication and help, but try your best to obtain
correct
Everyone is equal, truly cares about each other, and likes to cooperate
education issues
It’s not the child’s own limitations, but what limitations he thinks he has
intelligence test
score report
The most common mistake children make is thinking they can’t improve
Genetic constraints on development
It is not the defect itself that affects the spirit, but the child's attitude towards his own defect and the corresponding self-cultivation.
This is an excuse for parents and teachers to avoid their responsibilities.
factors of intellectual development
interest
It is not inherited, but comes from blows and fear of failure.
The result of long-term interest and cultivation
Stay courageous, don’t hesitate, don’t shrink back
Skip a grade
Letting children bear too high expectations
The class is a collective, and the success of one member will benefit the whole
For students who develop particularly quickly, you can add some other activities
Repeat a grade
Be pessimistic about one's abilities
Solution
Make children realize their mistakes: underestimating their abilities
divided into fast and slow classes
A breeding ground for feelings of failure and unfair superiority
Boys' and girls' schools
Coeducation is great
Boys and girls can understand each other and learn to cooperate with the opposite sex
With a correct understanding, girls develop faster than boys before the age of 16. Only with a correct understanding can boys maintain their self-esteem.
Otherwise, boys will not dare to compete with the opposite sex
Correct education and supervision, sex education
8. puberty
important meaning
For a child, he must prove that he is no longer a child
Make him believe that this is self-evident and the stress will go away for the most part.
Causes of adolescent behavior
Express independence, equality with adults, masculinity or femininity
Different meanings given to "growing up"
Get out of control
Declare war on all constraints
Smoking, swearing, and staying out all night
against parents
run away from home
Independence and freedom
Adolescent obsessive-compulsive disorder
trouble
Poor body coordination
If you are laughed at and criticized, you will gradually believe that you are stupid.
endocrine changes
Misinterpretation of secondary sex characteristics in children
Panic about adult life and not believing in one’s ability to solve it
The three major problems of isolating life are: not looking at people, not talking to people, not listening to people, not studying, not working, being addicted to fantasy, and only engaging in sexual activities.
schizophrenia adolescent type
Encourage him and prove to him that he is not on the right path and point out better options and he will be cured
I don’t want to grow up, be whiny, play with kids younger than myself, and pretend I can be a baby forever.
Imitate adults, learn their postures, like to spend money freely, start teasing and having affairs
If you don’t see a way out, you will turn to crime.
Very negative
neurosis
The purpose is to reasonably resist facing life's problems without reducing one's sense of superiority.
Claims that one has good intentions and is very sure that one must have social emotions and face life's problems
Puberty for different types of children
Children with severe adolescent problems were once spoiled children
Spoiled girls find it difficult to adapt to their female roles
male protest
Dislike or alienation from men
Like the opposite sex, but feel uncomfortable in contact, unable to speak, do not want to attend parties with men, and feel that sex is dirty
strong aversion to female characters
become more boyish
gay
prostitute complex
I firmly believe that no one has liked me since I was a child. Believe that women are born with lower status than men and that they will never win the sincerity and affection of any man.
feminine boy
male protest
Cause
Overestimating the importance of male material and treating manhood as an ideal, but doubting that he is not strong enough to achieve it
good looking
Taking appearance as a sign of weakness
Thinking that the issues of love and marriage are a test that one cannot pass
Become more feminine, make loud noises, walk awkwardly, and show off your posture, and your character will become better as you learn more.
Children who feel left out and neglected
Desire for praise, deeply hypnotized by praise
Suffering from neurosis seeking attention
Girls are not confident and regard other people’s praise as the only way to prove their worth.
Exaggerating and overestimating the value of sexual relationships
Want to prove that I have grown up
Resist parental oppression
Feeling of low status and using sex to enhance one's status
sexual awareness
infants
In order to attract parents' attention, it is not about having too strong sexual desire
boys and girls
Do not stimulate them physically and do not expose them to pornographic books and movies
Instilling a lot of unnecessary and inappropriate sexual knowledge
Parents should avoid being overly affectionate in front of teenagers
Solutions to puberty problems
Let children learn how to feel as equal social beings and understand that they have obligations to fulfill. Especially if they have learned to treat the opposite sex as equal partners, adolescence can only be an opportunity. From then on, they can create a life and independently solve the adult world. problem
9. crime and prevention
criminal flaws
Failure to deal with the three major issues of life and failure in social and emotional aspects
The same situation occurs in problem children, neuroses, psychoses, suicides, alcoholics and sexual perversions
lack of cooperation
reason
Parents cannot get their children to cooperate with them
Your mother herself has no ability to cooperate
dysfunctional family
Mother is overly pampered
The eldest son of a multiple-birth family
Relatively little attention is paid to the family
suppressed
Children who are compared grow up in grief and may develop into criminals, neuroses, and suicides
On the first day of school, I couldn’t make friends with my classmates, didn’t like the teacher, and couldn’t concentrate in class.
physical defects
self-centered
orphan
With no one around to win their affection, the new semester moves on to someone else
The environment itself is not important. What is important is the children’s misunderstanding of their status, and no one is around to explain it.
Cowardice, avoiding problems, avoiding the feeling of not being able to solve problems head-on
misunderstanding the meaning of life
poverty
be discriminated against
Hatred of wealth, jealousy
Believes that getting rich without working is the right way to superiority
psychological characteristics
Same as ordinary people
Gain a sense of strength, superiority, and completeness, and desire for security
different from ordinary people
The direction of working towards your inner desires
Target
criminal
A private or personal form of superiority, a desired end point that has no meaning to others.
ordinary people
Members of society benefit each other, which is the ability to cooperate
How to understand criminal psychology
Find out the extent and nature of the lack of cooperation ability
The perspectives of three major life issues
friendship issues
Reduced the scope of friendship and cannot make friends with ordinary people
work problems
I feel that work is difficult and I don’t want to overcome difficulties like others.
love problems
They think they can buy love. For them, sex life is about possession, and they should possess sexual objects, not have a partner life.
lack of cooperation
inducement to commit crime
Only when you lose the last area where you can cooperate will you commit a crime.
Criminals are not interested in others and their ability to cooperate is very limited. Once the limit is exceeded, they will commit crimes. As long as there is a problem that they cannot solve, the limit has been exceeded.
What matters is their lifestyle, that is, the way they face problems
Criminals always interpret circumstances to justify themselves
how to do
win their cooperation
Make criminals want to be nice to others and care about others
train them to cooperate
You start first, don’t care whether the other party cooperates actively or not. Whether the other party cooperates or not is not your business.
Pay attention to cooperation ability to a certain extent
Guide him to start solving the three major problems of life through cooperation
can't do
Can't be hard
Punishment doesn't work
Treat punishment as new evidence that society is full of I am willing but unable to cooperate
Many criminals do not value life
Treat human contact as a never-ending war
Can't come soft
You can't point out his mistakes and argue with him
Avoid anything in social life that criminals and poor people may regard as a challenge
Get to the root of your thinking patterns
Under what circumstances did the defect begin to be discovered?
What wreaked havoc in that situation created these flaws.
Find out what hinders the development of cooperative skills in childhood
Other children will isolate their mother's favorite, be reluctant to play with him, and ignore him
A neglected child feels unloved
When parents complain in front of their children that the world is difficult and society is dangerous, it will also prevent the development of their children's social interests and cause psychological disorders.
Three types of children face special difficulties
Physically disabled
pampered
neglected
Understand that crime itself is not an isolated symptom but one of the manifestations of attitude towards life
Sources of negative cooperation
mother relationship
father relationship
sibling relationship
Bias in human environment
Difficulties Encountered
Classification
I didn’t know there was such a thing as caring for each other in the world, and I had never experienced it.
Be hostile to others, look evil, and think everyone is an enemy
pampered children
Self-righteous, lose the ability to work hard, just want to be praised by the stars, always have unrealistic expectations, especially easy to be disappointed and blame the environment
10. Profession
The inner connection between the three major issues
career issues
Try to answer correctly the questions posed by the geographical environment
human relationship
division of labor
Do not work or only want to do things outside the common interests of mankind
pampered children
sexual relations
Factors affecting career
Mother
Main areas of activity in adulthood
primary school
Train hands, ears and eyes to develop their faculties and functions
Motivation for choosing a career
How to work hard
what drives them
status quo
superior goal
12-14 years old
I don’t know what I want to do in the future
May be ambitious but not brave enough to show it
to discover his main interests and directions
Dilemma about work area
Ambitious but not very good at cooperation
chosen direction
You can choose any career but never be satisfied
pampered children
original memory
visual
work with eyes
auditory type
music field
action type
Jobs related to outdoor activities and travel
Outshine the rest of the family
child's play
Not willing to be placed in a leader's position, the main interest is to find a leader to look up to, and find another child or adult to be his subordinate
I will choose to be a clerk first
Children experiencing illness or death
Doctor, nurse or pharmacist
avoid work
Find the cause and correct it
genius
I determined my interests very early and started working hard to cultivate myself since I was a child. Talent is my own creation.
Childhood longings are the best foundation for adult success
A family that overemphasizes the value of money
Children will be led to view work only from the perspective of making money
Will give up interest and be unable to benefit others
easily led astray
workaholic
It’s an escape from problems of love and friends.
Constantly changing jobs
11. from me to us
Human tendency to belong to family
primitive tribe
totem
religion
love your neighbor
politics
Taking human progress as the ultimate goal
is a higher degree of collaboration
Disapproved outlook on life
Only focus on what you get, only seek personal status
Mainly pursue their own interests and pursue personal superiority
Mental illness, suicide
Schizophrenia
not interested in others
Paranoia
accuse all mankind
depression
accuse yourself
In fact, it is chronic anger towards others. Although it is to gain love, understanding and support, it expresses a sense of guilt and sadness towards oneself.
suggestion
Never do anything you don't like
attack their lifestyle
Let him try to think about how to be nice to others every day
All they think about is: How can I make someone worry?
If they can establish a relationship based on equality and cooperation, they will be fine
Cause
lack of interaction
criminal negligence
Another typical case of socioemotional deficiency
Failed to learn to consider others and was unable to take spontaneous measures to protect the safety of others
interest in others
Learn in school, primary school
Mothers’ love for their children is related to technology
related to children’s own assessment of the environment
Feeling that others are targeting you
We can only fight to the bitter end
Everyone else is your slave
Don't want to do good to others, just want to rule them
Only care about your own feelings
Only caring about your own physical pain and discomfort and isolating yourself from society
My parents are good friends themselves, and there are also good friends outside the family
Family and school life are preparation for wider social life
Stay brave, face the three major problems of life calmly, and find ways to solve the three major problems that can promote the happiness of everyone.
Take on the task of life
Good colleagues at work
Everyone's best friend
True partner in marriage and love
12. love and marriage
first condition of marriage
cooperate
The study of friendship is preparation for marriage
Solving work problems is put before marriage and love problems
The meaning of marriage and love
Feel that you are valuable, irreplaceable, needed by your partner, feel that you are a good partner, a true friend, and feel that you are doing a good job
The courtship style is consistent with his life style and is an expression of life goals
Solve love and marriage problems
within a specific framework
We live in a specific part of the universe and we must develop within the possibilities and limitations set by our environment
We live among humans and must learn to adjust ourselves
We exist in two sexes, and the future of our race depends on the relationship between the two sexes
Both of them have the ability to care about others, caring about each other more than themselves.
equality
Neither party can be allowed to accept a secondary position
Don’t explain the physical relationship between men and women too early to children
Features
By the age of five or six, the main characteristics of the way we deal with love have been finalized.
In their early stages of development, children are already constructing their own views on marriage and love.
If mother and son or your daughter are estranged, they will look for people who are the opposite of their parents.
The end of sexual attraction means that he no longer cares. It only means that he no longer sees each other as equals, is no longer willing to cooperate friendly, and is no longer willing to enrich the other person's life.
Common misconceptions about marriage and love
Feeling left out, seeking attention but not satisfied
Tyrant in marriage
Two boats
pampered children
Imagine a romantic, ideal or unattainable love and revel in it
Can't find a partner
Dislike and reject one's own gender role
female
Suppress your natural reactions
male
frigidity
Psychogenic impotence
Worry about choosing a partner
It shows that they are afraid of love and marriage and are trying to build a country that is looked up to.
Treat marriage as a remedy for psychological problems
Inappropriate purpose of marriage
economic security
pity
get a servant
The continuation of humankind depends on the attitude towards the opposite sex and the role played in fulfilling one's gender tasks.
Must have an occupation that fulfills the obligation of dedication through labor
Ability to interact well and friendly with others
monogamy