In communication, it is possible to judge whether the listener is focused on listening through the body movements of the listener. For example, when Yanyan talks with her colleagues, her colleague changes postures, yawns and fiddles with her phone, and then looks around. These physical movements indicate that the colleague is not focused on listening. When Yanyan changes the topic, the colleague smiles, nods, and echoes, indicating that she begins to focus.

Body linguists recommend that you should cooperate with the following body movements when listening to improve communication efficiency:

When Sun Jing was serving as customer service, she was unable to obtain useful information from the customers at first and communication was not smooth. Under the guidance of her old employees, she learns to be an active listener, capture information and understand customer needs while listening, and improves her work efficiency.

Psychologists say that when listening, stay active and effectively receive information and facilitate successful communication. In addition to obtaining valuable information, there are also the following methods:

When Zhang Kun’s girlfriend He Jie complained about her new job, Zhang Kun remained silent, which led to He Jie’s dissatisfaction. In fact, listening is not just a word. It requires guiding the other party to understand their inner needs.

The host of "Lu Yu's Appointment" Lu Yu knows how to listen. After listening, he will ask questions based on the information, so that the guests can speak freely, and at the same time make the guests feel respected and understood. At work, leaders can express their opinions and appreciation in a timely manner when listening to their subordinates, which can eliminate their subordinates' concerns and obtain more information.

When Zhang Chu found that his son Lele always took two things. When he wanted to correct them, he first listened to Lele's thoughts and realized that Lele wanted to give her sweeter apples to her mother, and he wanted to share them with his friends. This shows that being good at listening can enhance feelings.

The key to efficient communication is listening. God gives people two ears and one mouth, which means that people listen more and speak less. "A pair of sensitive and understanding ears are more pleasing than a pair of talking eyes," said Carnegie, an American relationship guru.

Psychologists have shown that people desire to be respected in their hearts, and most people like those who are good at listening more than those who speak. Listening is a skill, cultivation and art. In communication, the other party should be told 80% of the time, and listeners only account for 20%.

How to listen:

A general interrupted the soldier and accidentally drank the pot of water, making a joke. This means that you should choose the right time to interrupt when listening, otherwise it will hinder communication and make the speaker unhappy. Interjecting in time can adjust the atmosphere and promote communication.

At a parent meeting in a certain school, a girl complained that the parent meeting was a "criticism meeting". The study committee member interjected and expressed different opinions after she finished speaking, which was effective.

Tips for interjection:

When the sons quarreled, the mother did not just listen to her younger brother, but learned the whole story, handled it fairly, and let the two brothers reconcile. This means not to listen selectively when communicating, listen comprehensively to learn more.

The old saying "listen to both sides, be clear; believing to partially, be dark", means that you must listen to opinions comprehensively to correctly understand things, otherwise you will be one-sided. Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty Li Shimin asked Wei Zheng about the difference between Mingjun and Darkjun. Wei Zheng pointed out that Mingjun listened fully, while Darkjun only listened to one-sided words.

Suggestions to be fully listened to:

When Zhang Wei cooperated with his colleague Li Chao, Zhang Wei was aggressive, listened impatiently, and interrupted from time to time, which made Li Chao unwilling to cooperate with him. Listening is divided into five levels. You should focus on listening or be listened to empathetic, that is, think from the perspective of others, understand and pay attention to the other person's thoughts.

Confucius said, "Do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you", and it is also applicable in communication. When American host Link Wright interviewed the little boy, at first everyone laughed at the boy's answer, but later they learned that the boy wanted to go back to get fuel, which means that you should think from the perspective of others during communication.

Suggestions for thinking from others while listening:

Doudou wanted to share good news with his father. His father's perfunctory attitude made him disappointed, and his mother listened carefully with gentle eyes, making Doudou willing to talk. This shows that "listening" is very important.

Psychologists say that eyes can make the other party judge whether to listen attentively, and knowing how to "listen" with eyes can leave a good impression and build harmonious feelings. However, you should also look at the other person in moderation. It is advisable to look at the triangle area between the other person’s eyes and mouth in 60%-70% of the time.

Things to note when "listening" with your eyes:

At the job fair, most interviewers were attracted by the game-playing people and did not concentrate on listening to the administrative person in charge of introducing the company's situation, and ultimately failed the interview. This shows that it is impolite to not concentrate on listening during communication and can hinder communication.

When you cannot listen to others, you should explain the reason in a tactful way, and you can generally understand it.

Suggestions for focusing on listening:

Yu Na confides with Sun Li about her dispute with her roommate. Sun Li first stands on Yu Na's side and complains together, and waits for her mood to improve before comforting her, which has a good effect. This means that you must understand the other person’s implicit meaning during communication and understand his true intentions.

A young man communicates with his boss after buying an official position, misunderstanding his boss's words, resulting in a failure in communication. This shows that not understanding the other person's implicit voice can lead to communication failure.

Suggestions for understanding other people’s implicit comments:

Fang Yuan contacted classmate Liu Wen on WeChat, but did not receive a response in time. She only received the word "Oh" the next day, which caused Fang Yuan to lose interest in contact. Words such as "Oh" and "Haha" are not real responses and will affect communication.

In communication, "reciting and communicating" responses can promote emotional communication, while perfunctory responses hinder communication. For children, whether they receive timely responses when communicating with adults will affect their future communication skills. Studies have shown that if the baby sends a signal to the mother, if the mother responds within 7 seconds, the baby will not feel frustrated, otherwise the number of signals will be reduced.

Psychologists suggest that you should respond promptly and friendlyly when communicating to create a good atmosphere.

The experiments of American psychologist Anderson show that sincerity is a personal quality that is popular among the public, and hypocrisy and fraud are disgusting. Mencius once said, "If you want to see a wise man but don't follow his own way, you still want to enter and close the door." This means that you must have a sincere heart when dealing with people.

American physicist Benjamin Franklin said, "When you plant what you will gain, you will gain." Treat others sincerely and you will also receive sincere rewards. Bai Juyi's poem says, "How fast is the principle of success? It is to put people in a heart-to-heart sense", which shows that treating people sincerely can make people convinced.

In communication, sincere words can make communication smooth and build trust and friendly relationships.

Xiaoshuang is diligent at her aunt and aunt's house because she is encouraged, and she is too lazy to do things because her mother is picky at home. This shows that proper encouragement is more beneficial to others' growth than criticism, especially for children.

Parents should appropriately encourage their children to be able to have harmonious relationships, enhance their self-confidence, and benefit their mental health. Leaders encourage employees to be able to improve their relationships with superiors and subordinates and encourage employees to create higher economic benefits.

The encouragement of Kanai Gene stepmother stimulated creativity and imagination and became a famous master and writer.

Use encouragement to give positive feedback:

An advertising manager is creative in planning, but his voice is soft and unclear when explaining to customers, which leads to customer dissatisfaction. This shows that voice is an important communication tool, affecting the success or failure of communication and personal charm.

A survey shows that 55% of information in communication is transmitted through body language , 38% are transmitted through sound and 7% are transmitted through oral language. Suggestions to make sounds more pleasant:

Cao Cao asked Jia Xu about the establishment of the prince. Jia Xu mentioned Yuan Shao and Liu Biao, which made Cao Cao understand the key points and make a decision. This shows that knowing how to understand it until it is done in communication can make the other party understand it.

Zheng Yi complained to her best friend Li Yan about breaking up with her boyfriend. Li Yan advised her to break up. Later, Zheng Yi reconciled with her boyfriend, which led to Li Yan being out of the way. This means that if you don’t know how to speak until you are right, it will affect the relationship.

Suggestions to do the right thing:

Mark Twain took $2 from the donation box for his missionary speech from his long speech. This shows that clever words in communication are better than long-term discussions, which can interest others and resonate with each other.

Psychologists suggest that when rejecting or opposing others, use brief and clever words. In important occasions or speeches, clever and interesting opening remarks can be fascinating, such as Lin Yutang said, "The speech should be like a miniskirt, the shorter the better."

When using clever words, you must have limits and not be harsh or indifferent.

Emperor Guangwu Liu Xiu wanted to match Song Hong with his sister, but because Song Hong had a family, Liu Xiu used polite words to test and learned about Song Hong's thoughts. This shows that polite words are the "buffer" of communication, which can make the interaction smooth and allow listeners to understand the original intention in a comfortable atmosphere.

Lincoln expressed his boredom with the lengthy official report in polite words. Xiao Li offended his colleagues in the company because he spoke too straightforwardly and was not promoted.

Suggestions for people who are "straightforward":

In the "Longzhong Pair", Zhuge Liang clearly analyzed the situation in the world for Liu Bei, so that Liu Bei could understand the way out and promote efficient communication.

In reality, many people speak unorganizedly when talking. Let the other party be confused. Things to note for organized expression:

Lu Xiaohui pays attention to etiquette when treating people, and treats visitors with etiquette, believing that "if you want to take it first, you must give it first." Etiquette is the "glue" of communication. The core of Chinese traditional culture is "external etiquette and inner benevolence". Confucius and Xunzi praised etiquette.

Zeng Zi’s “avoiding the seat” and listening to Confucius’ teaching knowledge is a respect for the teacher. Not understanding etiquette in communication will make people reluctant to talk.

Etiquettes that should be paid attention to in communication:

The queen knocked on the door three times, but did not open the door as "Queen" and "Victoria", and succeeded as "your wife". This shows that changing the angle during communication may make communication smoother and more efficient.

Xiao Xu accompanied the female client to visit the scenic spot and asked twice whether she was hungry and was rejected. Later, she said that she had not eaten. She invited the other party to have a meal together and obtained consent.

Suggestions for choosing a speaking angle:

Xiao Ke first asked her husband to buy perfume, and then asked him to buy a bag, and successfully convinced him. This is the "method of gaining momentum". First, make simple requirements, then make difficult requirements, and use people's desire to maintain a consistent image.

Door-to-door salesmen often use this method, first seek 5 minutes, and then sell products. The experiments of psychologists Jonathan Friedman and Ferrazier also prove the effectiveness of this method, namely the "threshold effect".

In love, first invite the other party to have a drink nearby, and then raise higher requirements, and the probability of success is greater.

Chulong, by caring about Empress Dowager Zhao's body, mentioned his son, and then made a long-term plan for Chang'an Jun, persuaded Empress Dowager Zhao to let Chang'an Jun go to Qi as a hostage. This shows that emotional resonance can effectively convince others.

Galileo expressed his love for science to his father, and used his father's emotional analogy to his mother to convince him to support himself.

Humans are emotional animals. When persuading others, they should create a sincere and sincere atmosphere and impress the other person with true feelings.

When Huang Bin sold products to Mr. Zhou, he found that he was interested in movies and turned to talking about movies. He eventually successfully promoted the products and became friends with Mr. Zhou. This shows that talking about topics that the other party is interested in can bring the distance closer and facilitate persuasion.

Dale Carnegie said, "The most clever way to touch people is to talk to him about his most precious things." Theodore Roosevelt will learn about the topics of interest to the visitors in advance so that communication can be smooth.

When you find that the other party is not interested in the topic during communication, you should change the topic and talk about the content that the other party is interested in, as long as you understand the other party.

Xiaojie used the words of a nutrition expert to persuade Vivi, who doesn't like to eat vegetables, to buy vegetables. This is to use the "halo effect", which is to use the views of authoritative people to enhance persuasion.

Magellan invited geographer Louis Pareilo to convince the Spanish king to gain support. The "halo effect" is a double-edged sword that can be appropriately quoted, but it cannot be blindly believed.

When Wang Ying was unwilling to fill in the information of the immediate relatives, he gradually guided the customer to fill in the information by assuming the situation. This is the principle of "boiling a frog in warm water", which starts to convince people from the point that the other party can easily understand and accept.

Zhang Ming wanted his girlfriend Xiaoya to get married, and at the suggestion of a friend, he made a small move through action to get Xiaoya to agree.

When persuading others, you can use this method to gradually let the other party accept opinions.

Wu Yi borrowed water from the homeowner and asked him if he had a water dispenser, and successfully promoted the water dispenser. This shows that asking questions can guide others to convince themselves.

Anthony Robin said, “Successful people are good at asking good questions and thus getting good answers.”

How to ask questions:

The guards analyzed Xiao He's situation to Liu Bang, seized the key points, and persuaded Liu Bang to pardon Xiao He. This shows that grasping the "pivots" in communication, presenting facts, reasoning, and analyzing pros and cons can effectively convince others.

Zhu Zhiwu analyzed the interests of Qin Mu Duke's joint efforts to destroy Zheng, persuade Qin Mu Duke to form an alliance with Zheng and withdraw his troops.

When persuading others, tell the other party the pros and cons of doing or not doing it, and the content should be specific and realistic.

By telling the stories of dragonflies, oriole, swans, and Cai Linghou, Zhuang Xin gradually guided King Xiang of Chu to realize his mistakes and began to work hard to govern. This shows that roundabout tactics can effectively convince others, attack from the side, and let the other party recognize their mistakes.

In daily life, when persuading others, you can use roundabout tactics to explain the "reason" in a concrete and vivid way, so that the other party can think about the pros and cons.

Tourists took advantage of the monkey's mentality of imitation and asked the monkey to pick wild fruits and throw them to him, and finally walked out of the forest. This shows that understanding other people's psychological needs can achieve the goal of confronting others and achieve efficient communication.

Maslow divided human needs into five levels: physiology, safety, belonging and love needs, respect, and self-realization.

Things to note when persuading in communication:

The head teacher of a certain class was lazy when facing the students being lazy due to the hot weather. He first understood the students, and then suggested waiting for the sun to set to weed, buy cold drinks to relieve the heat, so that the students could actively complete the task. This is a persuasion method of retreating to advance.

A clever way of persuasion:

As the prime minister of Lu, Gong Yixiu was honest and honest. He refused the fish given by others, believing that accepting it would violate the law, resulting in his dismissal and he could no longer eat fish. This shows that timely rejection is respect for others and yourself.

Master Hsing Yun said, "Rejection is an art. If you do well, you will have the best of both worlds. If you do not do well, you will hurt others and yourself." In today's society, many people are unwilling to reject others in person, but in fact, it is respect for others to refuse and express their true thoughts in a timely manner.

Rejection of request:

In order to integrate into the new company, Xiaoru is enthusiastic about helping her colleagues do things, but her colleagues frequently make unreasonable requests and is difficult to refuse. My friend suggested that she keep an appropriate distance from her colleagues, because refusal should start with maintaining an appropriate distance.

The "Hedgehog Law" shows that people should keep a proper distance when interacting with each other so that they will not hurt each other and can gain warmth.

In communication, you should consciously choose the best distance between communication, and learn to refuse and show your attitude when others cross the line.

Deng Kai used body language to shake his head to decline his friend Chen Jie's request to jump into the team, and explained afterwards that the relationship between the two would be better. This shows that body language can convey the meaning of rejection, solve problems, and maintain relationships.

In daily life, you can convey the meaning of rejection by patting the shoulders and pressing the lower part of your eyebrows. In an intimate relationship, after making rejected physical movements, you can explain the reasons later to avoid complaining to the other party.

Suggestions for expressing rejection using physical movements:

Shaw rejected Duncan's courtship with humorous words, making Duncan understand the meaning and did not affect the relationship between the two. This shows that humorous words can make rejection more pleasant and make it easier for the other party to accept.

Lincoln used humorous stories to express his refusal to attend the editorial conference. Pythagoras said that "the shortest and oldest word - 'good' or 'no' - requires the most careful consideration", and people have the right to say "no".

Suggestions to make rejection more pleasant:

Michelangelo faced the accusations of David's nose by officials and pretended to make the officials recognize it. This is to induce rejection. It is to compromise on the surface, but in fact it sticks to your own ideas and make the other party accept the rejection unknowingly.

Roosevelt used the induction method to ask his old friends to say that they could keep it confidential, and then stated that he would keep it confidential, and refused to disclose the submarine base plan.

In daily life, clever inducement methods can be used to reject others so that the other party can accept it unconsciously.

Ruan Ji used drunkenness as a "shield", rejected Sima Zhao's proposal and protected himself and his family. This shows that in order to refuse to find the right "shield", it can make the other party accept it and not harm the relationship.

Suggestions for finding "shields":

Yang Hong explained the difficulties to the leader because of the harassment of a male customer, and refused to accompany the customer to eat or watch movies, which was understood by the leader. This shows that bravely rejecting after explaining one's own difficulties is a reasonable way to refuse.

In daily life, you can directly tell your own difficulties and let others accept rejection without affecting the relationship. For example, use words such as "This makes me embarrassed" to explain the reason.

In Lao She's "Four Generations Live in One's Family", the eldest sister-in-law Yunmei used her own difficulties to reject Qi Ruifeng's request for money, eased the atmosphere and maintained the relationship.

By talking to himself, Hesto made Naster realize that his comics were not good and asked to throw them away. This shows that increasing the "gold content" in rejection can make the other party accept it with convincing conscience.

Suggestions to increase the "gold content" in rejection:

When Cao Cao said, "You and I are the only heroes in the world", Liu Bei used thunder to change the topic, concealed his panic, and rejected Cao Cao's evaluation. This shows that changing the topic can cleverly reject and avoid questions that you don’t want to answer.

Suggestions for changing topics:

Gan Luo used the method of making mistakes and refused the Qin King's request to lay eggs laid by the rooster on the grounds that his grandfather had given birth at home. This is a brilliant strategy to successfully reject others.

Other rejection strategies:

As a manager, Chen Chen relaxes his employees through humorous words and narrows his distance with them. This shows that humor creates a pleasant atmosphere and brings each other closer.

In social occasions, when facing strangers, using humor skills in time can relax and bring the two sides closer. For example, lawyers use humorous words to resolve conflicts with neighbors and become friends.

American psychologists surveyed and found that students like humorous teachers and feel that their lectures are like spring breeze.

Notes on using humor:

Fangfang used humorous words to resolve the contradiction between waiters' tea breaking. This shows that humor can "cool" contradictions and conflicts and release inner tension and unhappiness.

The taxi driver uses humorous words to make way for the owners on the opposite side and become friends. Fruit supermarket clerks use humorous words to point out the issues that women ignore and avoid quarrels.

Humor can resolve conflicts and promote the development of relationships. In social occasions, you should learn to communicate with high-quality humor.

Nana's boyfriend responded to the rudeness of the child's mother with humorous words, which made Nana's favorable impression of her. This shows that humorous expression can enhance personal charm and make others willing to accept it.

Psychologists believe that proper use of humor can make communication more efficient and reflect personal wisdom and cultivation. For example, the customer responded to the waiter's question about the sand in the rice with humorous words.

Chen Fan used self-deprecating words to reassure his wife and showed wisdom. This shows that self-mockery is the highest level of humor and the language art of self-confidence, which can make communication smooth and reflect open-mindedness and wisdom.

Zhang Daqian complained that he was a villain and adjusted the atmosphere of the banquet. The general used his self-deprecating to resolve the embarrassment of the soldiers pouring wine on his bald head, showing his open-mindedness.

Clever use of self-deprecating will not damage your image, but can demonstrate confidence and wisdom, and win the favor and respect of others.

Socrates used humorous words to resolve his wife's embarrassment of throwing dirty water on him, making her realize her recklessness. This shows that humor is the "lubricant" of efficient communication and can deal with embarrassing situations.

Feng Jicai used humorous words to get his friend's son off the bed, showing his wit. People who are good at using humor are very popular in interpersonal communication.

Lincoln gained support by incorporating humor into his presidential speech. This shows that the incorporation of humor into the speech makes the speech easy and fun and attracts the audience's attention.

Eisenhower ended his speech with humorous words and received positive reviews.

How to incorporate humor into speeches:

Chen Lu used humorous words to help Danish merchants lower the price of herring and reach a cooperation. This shows that using humorous strategies in negotiations can ease tension and make negotiations more harmonious.

Customers use humorous words to make the beef seller know that he is in the wrong. The little boy used humorous words to ask his mother to buy him a cat.

During negotiations, humorous methods can be used to make choices to allow the other party to choose more acceptable options.

Lei Ming responded to his wife's divorce application with humorous words, eased the relationship, and then negotiated with his wife to resolve the problem. This shows that humor is the "shock absorber" in the family, which can ease tension and maintain family harmony.

A couple quarreled over trivial matters, and the husband used humorous words to make his wife burst into tears and laugh. Children's humorous words can make the family full of warmth.

Humor is a necessity of family life and can fill the family with a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere.

A young man answered the interviewer's question about who is better, Ronaldo or Jordan, in a humorous way, and was hired. This shows that humor during the interview can adjust the tension, show talent, and make people stand out.

An applicant answered the interviewer's questions in humorous words and was hired on the spot.

Suggestions for using humor during interviews:

Yang Si used humorous words to imply that the intern girl was careless in doing things, so that she could work hard and win respect. This shows that leaders can use humor to communicate with their subordinates to convince employees and win people's hearts and respect.

Liu Qi used humorous comments to point out the problems summarized by employees and asked employees to correct them seriously.

In workplace management, humor can enhance employee morale and promote teamwork. When using humor, you must be responsible and explore your own humorous topics.

The third daughter of an African tribe chief has gone from laziness to hardworking and capable because she has received sincere praise from her husband. This shows that sincere praise can help people get rid of inferiority, build self-confidence, and change their lives.

Psychologists' experiments show that children who receive praise recover faster. Praise should be reserved and let the other party clarify its strengths and problems.

Han Xin sincerely praised Liu Bang for his goodness in controlling generals, and pointed out that he lacked troops, which satisfied Liu Bang.

Suggestions to make praise more sincere:

Fisherman A's wife made her husband depressed because of her accusations and complaints; Fisherman B's wife encouraged her husband with praise and made her relationship closer. This shows that using praise instead of accusations and complaints can make communication smoother and make others feel warm.

A girl praised the watermelon boss for his good skills in picking melons, so that the boss could choose melons more carefully.

William James said, "The most essential wish in human nature is to be praised." Praise can change a person's life. The story told by Hegel shows that kind-hearted praise can guide people to the right path.

The cosmetic salesman timely praised the hostess' dog and then successfully promoted the product. This shows that praise has a "shelf life" and should be given in time and seize the opportunity.

In life and work, we should timely praise others’ happy events and progress, pay attention to others’ subtle changes, and make the other person feel valued.

Lin Daiyu overheard Baoyu praise herself in front of others, making the two more close. This shows that praising others behind the scenes is better and can make the other person feel sincere and frank.

Parents’ expectations and concern for their children are learned from others and can motivate their children to study hard. At work, praising the leader when he is not present can enhance his impression in the leader's heart.

Bismarck praised the MP who hated himself in front of others and made him a political ally.

Li Dan over-praises her husband's cooking skills, which leads her husband to only study recipes and not do housework. This shows that praise should be stopped in moderation, restrained and grasp the standards.

The old saying "too much is not too much", excessive praise will make the other person uncomfortable and even bored. Praise should be appropriate, such as praising others to sing “very charming” is easier to accept than “the best in the world”.

Appropriately praised suggestions:

When Lin Xiao communicated with customers, he specifically praised the customer for his eyes like Zhao Wei, gained favorable feelings, and successfully signed the contract. This shows that concrete praise makes the other party feel sincere, easy to accept, and can bring the distance closer.

Praise others to speak in a practical way, such as praising the speech “very thoughtful, especially the sentence…” and praising the room “the calligraphy and paintings on the wall are very tasteful…”.

Roosevelt specifically praised his specially made cars, which moved the engineers.

Methods to embody praise:

Xiao Fei lowered herself, praised her father for running lightly, and let her father keep exercising. This shows that lowering oneself and raising others can win the other party's favor, making the other party more acceptable, and satisfying their self-esteem.

Shen Congwen lowered himself before class and won applause from his classmates. Friends and colleagues lower themselves and praise others, which can help the other party do better.

Lower yourself and praise others can make communication smoother, and achieving others is also achieving yourself.

Zhu Yuanzhang’s two friends told the same thing, but because of different ways of praise, one became an official and the other was killed. This shows that praise varies from person to person and varies according to the other person's role, personality, etc.

Praise young people to praise their creative talents, praise the elderly to praise their "think back then", and use sweet words to their lovers.

Lenin said, "Speaking to a coachman should be different from a sailor, and speaking to a sailor should be different from a typist." Praise should consider factors such as the other party's profession.

Things to note when praising different objects:

The theater manager grasped the psychology of women who love beauty and youth, and made them consciously take off their hats, solving the problem of blocking their sight. This shows that before praising, you must understand the other person's psychology and understand the needs, so that you can grasp the right position and praise better.

Psychologist experiments show that she became cheerful and confident after praising girls with strong inferiority complex.

Lincoln said, "Everyone needs praise, you and I are no exception." Before praise, you must understand the other person's psychological and emotional needs.

Lu Xin was happy that the reporter praised her tenderness and kindness in her heart and had a cordial conversation with the reporter. This shows that new compliments can make the other party more acceptable and the communication effect is doubled.

The general in Yukio Mishima's works likes others to praise their beards rather than military talents. When praising others, praise their inconspicuous or undiscovered advantages.

Gao Liang praised his wife and classmates for their special earrings, breaking the embarrassment and making communication smooth.

Duke Jing of Qi shot an arrow outside the target, and the ministers cheered. Xian Zhang pointed out that Duke Jing of Qi understood that the ministers flattered him because he did not like to listen to criticism. This shows that criticizing others should be done until they are concise and concise, otherwise they will make the other person disgusted.

Chen Jing was late due to traffic jams due to rain, and the supervisor criticized him severely, which led to Chen Jing being late deliberately and not being serious about his work. If the supervisor criticizes it until the end, the effect will be better.

Criticizing others should stop when you say something is right, leaving room for the other party.

Fan Bin found that his son likes to play with his mobile phone. He first criticized himself and also liked to play with his mobile phone, and then pointed out his son's problems, so that his son could accept criticism and correct it. This shows that self-criticism before criticizing others can make it easier for the other party to accept and effectively change their behavior.

During a military parade in Alabama, the reviewer only saw the soldiers not buttoning, but did not find that there was also a problem with their uniforms.

Suggestions for criticizing others:

Prince Buno first criticized William II, then praised him and asked him to forgive himself. This shows that giving praise before criticism can create a good atmosphere, allowing the other party to eliminate vigilance and hostility, and easily accept criticism.

Mom A criticizes the child who is not good at the exam, which makes the child unhappy; Mom B first affirms the child, and then makes suggestions to make the child accept it happily.

Melin Kay said, "Don't just criticize but not praise." Praise before criticism can make the other party realize the problem and actively correct it. The Rockefeller family congratulated the partners who lost $1 million, making them blame themselves and work more seriously.

The hunter criticized the bear for destroying the cornfield and used hurtful words. After saving the hunter, the bear still left because of those words. This shows that you should avoid using hurtful words when criticizing, as the harm to the soul is irreparable.

Suggestions for criticizing others:

The hotel waiter pointed out the mistake of the guest taking the cloisonné chopsticks in a tactful way and asked the guest to return it. This shows that criticizing others in a tactful way can make the other party more acceptable and achieve the purpose of criticism.

Rossini pointed out in a euphemistic way that the composer's songs were plagiarized.

Things to note for tactful criticism:

Teachers from the school management office severely criticized the students for parking randomly, which led to students' dissatisfaction and deliberately caused trouble. This shows that using a suggestive tone instead of criticism can convey respect and make it easier for the other party to accept.

Engineers use suggestions and reminders to let workers wear safety helmets, which has a good effect.

Carnegie says people don't like to accept tough criticism and be told what to do. Benefits of using a suggested tone:

Sun Ming leniently criticized new employee Wang Song and harshly criticized old employee Li Fei, which made both of them progress. This shows that different criticism methods should be adopted according to the other party's personality, experience, etc.

People with different personalities respond differently to criticism. The criticism should also be different:

Criticism skills for workplace managers: Don’t focus on the details, be a gentle and strict manager, and give support and help to subordinates.

Zhang Tian was inefficient because she was worried about making mistakes in the calculation. The cashier team leader accused her of her. After the manager understood the situation, he affirmed her attitude, pointed out the problems, told her methods, and improved her efficiency. This shows that criticizing others should help them analyze the reasons and tell them how to correct them so that they can easily accept it.

Practice of objectively analyzing problems:

Suggestions for allowing others to accept objective analysis:

Du Xi first echoed Cao Cao before criticizing him, and then tactfully advised him, asking Cao Cao to accept the advice and recruit Xu You. This shows that putting criticism in praise can satisfy the other party's psychological needs and make it happy to accept criticism.

Tao Xingzhi used the method of rewarding sugar to make the boys who make mistakes realize their mistakes.

Criticism is an art and wisdom. If others make mistakes, if they condemn them blindly, it will embarrass them. Adding some "sugar" to the criticism can make others accept it happily.

Ma Ling accused the leader of being biased because he did not understand his colleague's situation. Later, he went to his colleague's house to understand the situation and admitted his mistake to the leader. This shows that criticizing others with facts can convince the other party.

Other Criticism Tips:

Yuan Jun was eliminated during the interview because he wore slippers, his shirt collar was curled inside, and his hair was messy. This shows that external image is very important in interpersonal communication and determines the first impression.

Psychologists' experiments show that young people dressed as college students have a high probability of free rides, while those dressed as beggars have a low probability of free rides.

In the workplace, good image management will give people a calm and credible feeling, which is conducive to communication. In foreign political campaigns, campaigners attach importance to image details. Lincoln accepted the little girl's advice to grow a beard and get more support.

The pastor's son quickly put together the map by compiling the person's avatar on the back of the world map, so that the pastor can understand that "if the person is right, the world is right." This shows that in interpersonal communication, we must correctly understand ourselves in order to bloom our personality and win respect.

Because Hermos could not recognize himself, his statue was told by the boss that he could get free gifts for buying Zeus and Hera's statues.

How to recognize oneself:

Yang Yong made a big fuss because others dirty his clothes, which made his friends unwilling to have dinner with him again. This shows that people should control their emotions and be the master of emotions.

Psychologists say that mood is controlled by oneself, and controlling emotions is the "sword of Shangfang" for efficient communication. Zhuge Liang's wife gave him a fan engraved with the Eight Formations to remind him to control his emotions.

Suggestions for controlling emotions:

Black children are puzzled by the fact that black balloons can fly into the sky. The boss explains whether the balloon can fly depends on the gas inside. Whether a person can succeed has nothing to do with the color of his skin, the key is self-confidence, etc. This shows that communication is full of confidence, which can make communication smooth and convince the other party.

Many people are not confident in public, but in fact, they will feel relaxed and natural when they focus on expressing their content. Schweibo gave a speech confidently and received $1 billion in funding.

Confident advice in communication:

Zhou Wen always kept smiling when interviewing the airline telephone service staff. Although the interviewer turned his back to her, he was still hired. This shows that smile is the key to opening the door to communication and can shorten the distance.

Shelley said, "Smile is really a symbol of benevolence, a source of happiness, and a medium for getting close to others." A smile can ease the tension and make people get along with each other happily.

Franklin Betger said that people with a smile are always popular and should communicate with a smile.

Zhao Shan’s high volume and fast speech speed leads to customers’ reluctance to communicate and old customers are lost; Li Xing’s voice is gentle and his speech speed is moderate, so the customer’s communication time is long. This shows that before communication, you should "dance" language, control volume, speech speed, etc.

Volume affects the success or failure of communication, and the manager will adjust the volume according to the situation.

Things to note about "Dancing" language:

Xia Tong was not used to it after arriving in Chongqing. She opened her heart at the suggestion of her friends and exposed herself moderately, and finally adapted to and fell in love with the city. This shows that moderate self-exposed can bring each other closer and increase your sense of acceptance and trust.

Oprah Winred lets the audience feel affinity through self-exposed, and his interview program has high ratings.

Self-exposure is divided into four levels. The deeper the level, the better the relationship. But the more self-exposed, the better. You should be moderate and consider the person you communicate with and the right person.

Bai Xue is introverted. Under the guidance of Zhu Meng, she participated in activities and found her interests. Her personality became cheerful and her suitors increased. This shows that personality can be optimized, and as long as you make up your mind to change, there will be obvious results.

Character affects a person's thinking and behavior. A good character makes people feel good, while a bad person brings trouble.

Suggestions for optimizing personality:

Tian Jun lost the company's materials and official seal, and the general manager tolerated it, making Tian Jun more serious and responsible, and refused to hire other companies with high salaries. This shows that tolerance can keep an open mind, is a manifestation of wisdom, and can lead to good interpersonal relationships.

Psychologists say, "As long as you have a mind that can see through everything, you can be open-minded and generous." Duke Huan of Qi appointed Guan Zhong without regard for his past grudges and achieved hegemony.

Tolerant of others is also to be kind to yourself, which can reflect personal demeanor and cultivation, and allow people to reach a new level in life.

He Bing missed meeting with customers due to alcohol abuse and lost the opportunity to cooperate. Later, he made up his mind to quit drinking. This shows that bad habits will have negative effects, and we must abandon them and improve our character.

Nina Golanfeld said, "Bad habits will bring many benefits, otherwise people will not be able to live without it." Letting bad habits grow will make people control it.

Suggestions for abandoning bad habits:

Xiao Zhao's leader failed to improvise because he did not prepare the speech and fell into embarrassment. This shows that you must be prepared before the speech, and you cannot simply recite the speech, but understand the content and express it in your own language.

Preparations before speech:

Feng Fei was nervous and frightened when he gave a speech on stage because he was not talking. He failed. This shows that many people will feel fear and nervous when they come to the stage, because they are not used to speaking to most people.

Suggestions to overcome the fear of going on stage:

Feng Jicai started his speech in the United States with a unique way of taking off his clothes, attracting the attention of the audience and winning applause. This shows that a unique opening remark is the basis for a successful speech and can lead the way.

Lin Harold Hu once said, "The opening remarks should attract attention and can capture the hearts of the audience in one go."

How to make a wonderful opening remark:

Under the guidance of the counselor, Zhang Bei learned that senior students were concerned about internships and work, and revised their speeches, which resonated with the speeches. This shows that finding topics that the audience is interested in in the speech can bring the distance closer and achieve twice the result with half the effort.

Jobs' speech at the graduation ceremony of Stanford University narrowed his distance with students with humorous words.

Suggestions for finding topics that are of interest to the audience:

When Lin Yutang gave a speech at the Lin clan, he listed the characters in the novel and Americans who had nothing to do with the Lin clan to meet the requirements of the clan and show his style. This shows that humorous language is important in speeches.

The pianist faces a small number of listeners and uses humorous words to resolve disappointment and gain favorable impressions.

Suggestions for using humor in speeches:

Wang Yong and Sun Bo believe that a certain speech was successful, which was related to the speaker's voice, speed of speech, and ups and downs. This shows that during the speech, you should pay attention to volume, tone changes and speech speed to attract the audience's attention.

Lincoln controls speech speed and voice when he emphasizes key points. Sir Oliver Rogee paused naturally when he gave a speech.

In addition to controlling the volume and speaking speed during the speech, you should also pay attention to:

The boss of breakfast shop A asked the customer "If you want two eggs or one", most customers wanted two; if you want two; if you want eggs, most customers didn't want them. This shows that good eloquence is important in communication and can bring more benefits.

Du Baolin used excellent eloquence to advertise cigarettes, and the results were good. A graduate was admitted to the company using his witty eloquence at the CEO's birthday party.

The king was angry because the local magistrate had not repaired the road, and the local magistrate was executed without explanation; the official of the Royal Horse Supervision explained that he did not feed the horse because he was worried about the king's condition and was valued by the king. This shows that good eloquence should be clear and well-founded.

Suggestions for practicing without scattering eloquence:

Liang Jing used exaggerated techniques to describe the wind at the university, making Xie Nan's sister laugh at her, and was later introduced to work. This shows that using rhetoric in communication can increase the charm of language, win favorable feelings, and make it easier for the other party to understand the views.

Einstein used people's personal feelings to explain the theory of relativity, which is easy to understand.

Song Chen’s friends have different evaluations of his expensive curtains, which makes Song Chen’s reactions differently, and the thoughtful friends make him more comfortable. This shows that speaking with thoughtfulness, kindness and tactfulness can bring good popularity.

Yang Xiu was arrogant because he did not consider Cao Cao's feelings and was killed by Cao Cao.

Thoughtful suggestions:

As an intern, Luo Hui was fired from disregarding her identity and disobeying the arrangements of the supervisor. This shows that when communicating with leaders, you must be clear about your identity, understand the relationship between superiors and subordinates, and perform leadership tasks.

Things to note when communicating with leaders:

Yu Na told her colleague about breaking up with her boyfriend, and was discussed by her colleagues and affected her work. This shows that when communicating with colleagues in the workplace, you should avoid talking about taboo topics such as personal feelings.

Other taboo topics to communicate with colleagues:

Hou Ming communicated with his subordinates by sending emails, frankly talked about his work plans and shortcomings, gained recognition, and improved his work performance. This shows that establishing effective communication channels is the guarantee of good communication with subordinates.

Tips for communicating with subordinates:

During the interview, Qiao Li introduced herself concisely and realistically, highlighted her strengths and mentioned her weaknesses, used examples to prove her ability, and was hired. This shows that you must grasp the principles and respond cleverly during the interview.

Notes on communicating with the interviewer:

Taboos in interviews: Don’t answer questions that are not answered, pretend to understand, argue with the interviewer, and be proud.

Xiaoya uses provocation to women who are hesitant in front of cosmetics and asks them to buy cosmetics. This shows that the method of excitement can be used in negotiations to stimulate the other party's self-esteem and achieve the goal.

The key to using provocation is to detect other people's intentions and needs, anger the other party, and let them speak their hearts.

When Metternich negotiated with Napoleon, he used a provocation to expose Napoleon's inner thoughts and pointed out his weaknesses.

Things to note when using provocation: Use different methods to different objects, be responsible and seize the opportunity.

Shen Yao was dissatisfied with the engineer because the engineer missed the customer's requirements and the customer was dissatisfied. Shen Yao was unreasonable, which led to the breakdown of the relationship with the engineer and the cooperation was terminated. This shows that communication with partners should be reasonable, forgive others' mistakes, solve problems successfully, and be respected.

In order to protect the chef at the vegetarian banquet, the monk did not let the owner know that there was meat in the dish, which showed that he was reasonable and merciless.

Liu Chuang borrowed money from Yang Bo and did not repay it in time. After he had money, he bought a mobile phone and traveled, which made Yang Bo dissatisfied and the two had a distant relationship. This shows that you must be restrained and rational when interacting with friends and not break into the "forbidden zone".

The "forbidden zone" for dating with friends:

Fang Qiong ignored his daughter Linlin's words because he was upset, which led to Linlin's dissatisfaction. Fang Qiong followed the child's joys, anger, sorrows, and happiness, and the relationship became close. This shows that when communicating with children, you should lower your posture and listen more to their inner voices.

Suggestions for communicating with children:

Xiaoliang lost his temper with his mother because of his poor work and hurt him. In "The Analects of Confucius", "The difficulty of color" shows that it is not easy to serve parents with a kind face and joy. True filial piety is to make parents happy.

When getting along with your parents, you should restrain your temper and have a friendly conversation. Even if your parents make mistakes, you should explain the reason gently.

Zhou Hao was angry that his father bought counterfeit health products. Later, under his wife's persuasion, he had a friendly conversation with his father to let his father understand the problem.

When Sun Jing was chatting with strangers at the party, she talked endlessly about herself and did not give the other party room to speak, which led to communication failure. This shows that you should pay attention to etiquette and taboos when communicating with strangers.

How to communicate with strangers: